Personal Choices II

Quote:

"We believe in personal choice, rather than society dictating how we must live our lives." ~ Mike Peters

I'm not sure on where to begin but there's so much that I could write about, everything from not wanting anymore children to relationships to marriage to health issues and/or personal health concerns if I'm going to be with someone because at the end of the day it is my business(!) to know what's going on with you (health wise) so I refuse to play Russian Roulette with my own health to my relationship status on whether if I'm single or married or in a relationship to what's going on in the world, well, you get the picture. Topics may vary and consider yourself warned, I hope this second 'Personal Choices II' will by my final blog on this subject matter on why I do what I do. But as callous and cynical as it may sound, it is based on personal choices that I have made on my own conscious mind! To answer this one question that most of you (mostly guys) ask me on whether if I am married or dating anyone or talking to anyone and my answer is no. The reason why I'm still or remained single is mostly by choice and I am not searching for a relationship with anyone at the moment. Second reason why I'm still single is because I find myself an easy target for men to approach me for all of the most obvious reasons, though I don't wear anything inappropriate in public and each time I put the idea of the both of us to get tested for HIV out there, the first response that comes out of their mouths are: "I got tested three days ago!" or they'd say "I got tested three weeks ago!" or even "I got tested three months ago!" Dude, we weren't even talking during that time period or we didn't cross paths in each others' lives during that point and that time period that you claim you've been "tested" isn't as relevant to me now because we (meaning you and I) didn't go get tested together! If a guy generally rejects the idea of going for an HIV testing then obviously you have something to hide because guys like you make the rest of the honest guys who are willing to go for an HIV testing look bad and because guys like you only care about the punani, nothing else. If you're going to reject the idea of going for an HIV testing then I am going to reject you! Why should I be with someone who feels that they shouldn't get tested for whatever reason they have and why should I be the one to waste my time being with someone who refuses to go with me to get tested? To say the least, I am not implying that you're "dirty" but however, I don't want to take medication for HIV and it's morally wrong for me to be with someone who refuses to get tested. The first thing that will come to mind as mentioned before is that you have something to hide if you reject the idea of being safe than sorry later but I'd rather be safe now than regretting it later and if I were you, just get it over with now so this way no one has to lose any sleep over anything! Consider this as a fair warning, I'm one of those women that have a 90 Date Rule while other women have a 5 Date Rule of no sexual intercourse during that time period, I've gotten this idea from watching "Friends With Benefits" and inspired me to give this a try but I hope this would work in my favor until we feel comfortable with each other instead of having an awkward sexual experience. So, during those 90 days, I want to get to know someone before I agree to be with someone [sexually] and as mentioned before, it's best to be safe than sorry if we both were to get tested [for HIV]. In terms of marriage, I just haven't found the right person and I choose to remain single by choice. I'm not ready to settle down and commit but I would love to start dating but most of the time, I feel like most guys just want the punani and I'll leave it at that. I eventually consider the idea of marriage at a later time but not at the moment and I am in no rush to get married anytime soon, for now, I don't believe in marriage but I'll keep my options open to discussion! I wonder by wearing a Burqa or rather a Chadri would reduce my chances of getting hit on, just saying.

"Society needs both parents and non parents, both the work party and the home party. While raising children is the most important work most people will do, not everyone is cut out for parenthood. And as many a childless teacher has proved, raising kids is not the only important contribution a person can make to their future." ~ Virginia Postrel

I've read several articles on Huffington Post on why women [who are healthy enough to conceive] chose to remain childless and in many respects, I totally understand because that was me until I got pregnant (mind you now, I had absolutely no plans of motherhood at age 26) in 2009. Just to let you know now, I've had a history of irregular menstrual cycles in the past and present. My body is weird because everything will be normal, meaning I'd have my monthly menstrual cycles and all of a sudden my body will end up going back to irregular menstrual cycles like a tennis match. I regret not being fully educated on the different types of contraceptives but not limited to birth control pills, abortions, and/or getting your tubes tied. Of course, I've had people discouraging me from getting my tubes tied so soon and I've been told "What if you meet the right guy and you end up changing your mind?" Well, if that's the case, oh freaking well because I’m not interested in having another child at the moment and why can't I just do the whole Essure procedure instead of an IUD? Where I’m at in my life, I have zero desire for round two of motherhood and don’t get me wrong but I have no desire for another child. If I were to have another child, the child's father will end up running for the hills during my pregnancy and it'll be too far into my pregnancy to go for an abortion. I refuse to get pregnant anytime soon and I'd rather die in a plane crash than to have another child. Anyway, both articles I've read were: "I Don't Want Children -- Ever" about this one woman who never wanted children, yet I don't blame this woman and the second article I've read from Huff Post Women was "Not Every Woman Wants a Child, and That's OK" and both articles are understandable but if I could do this all over again, I would have applied for health insurance ages ago and found myself an OG/GBYN to help me decide on which contraceptives to go with. Only reason why I never went for health insurance was because I had always thought that I had to pay into health insurance since there are jobs that require employees to pay into their health insurance such as my mother’s job at Brandywine Assisting Living in Little Neck, NY and I regret not doing my research on health insurance and educated myself on different forms of contraceptives on the market. The idea of me being a mom of one is my choice and I'm perfectly fine with just one child. I've had people encouraging me to "try for one more" so my son would have a sibling to play with, however, if I were married, my circumstances would have been much different than it is now because I would have made sure my children are a minimum of three to four years apart and since my son is now six years old, to me, it is too much of an age gap if I were to have another child. I'm not going to grab some random dude off of the streets and have him get me pregnant, oh no, oh no, it's not happening, not on my watch in this lifetime. Don't get me wrong, I do like children but I refuse to sacrifice my own body again all for pregnancy and having a healthy child. I'm sorry but not sorry because my baby father messed it up for the next guy that comes along and in some ways I messed up too because I haven't told him that I've had a history of irregular menstrual cycles which was my mistake. Am I politically wrong for not wanting to have another child? I don't recall the feeling of having a maternal instinct at all before my unplanned pregnancy and I do like children but never had the interest of being a mom at all but I do hope it's understandable to most but not all.

"I'm a childless woman, yet I felt no maternal urges whatsoever. The prospect of years of broken nights and nappy changes holds no appeal for me." ~ Kiki Dee.

It's very rare that I'd openly talk about my own sexuality (unless if it randomly comes up in conversation) because there are people who tend to shy away from the LGBT community to their religious beliefs and disregard the LGBT's because those individuals [understandably] feel that it is considered "wrong" and immoral to feel attracted to someone of the same sex. Furthermore, there had been times where I've voluntarily told people my sexuality and one dude who happens to be from Nigeria, Africa had thought that I was a hermaphrodite, I had told him the difference between a hermaphrodite and someone who is bi-sexual. Yet, I'm not certain if he understood and I suppose they don't have people coming out of the closet in Africa but if they had people coming out of the closet, it's just you don't hear about it often as you would here in America. For the most part, I haven't heard from this dude in several days and nor do I expect for him to randomly text me out of the blue. I don't know why he wanted me to "Marry" his brother and truth be told, I don't know this guy for very long and yet, he wants me to "marry" his brother. I can't help but shake my head at him and I don't want to come off as ungrateful or anything of that nature, I'm sure he wants me to marry his brother so his brother can live here in America.

Blessed be,

Jennifer

The Strange Reality of Religion

"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness." ~ Dalai Lama.

Religion is an interesting topic but forbidden in conversation along with politics and I figured I would put the topic of religion out there. I would imagine receiving loads of negative but snide comments from people, particularly from the Christian community about this topic. I will post this blog, leave it as is and get back to my Daily Yoga! I'm hoping people would understand my curiosity and frustration on religion. For now, I plan on setting up a list of books to read once when I'm finished reading 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix' by J.K. Rowling along with the last two books of Harry Potter ('Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince' and as well as 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows') and my next book after the Harry Potter series I had in mind is 'God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything' and 'The Portable Atheist' both by Christopher Hitchens. There will be plenty of books on (anti) Christianity and as well as Atheism along with anything Agnosticism. Don't get me wrong, I will eventually read the Bible to gain some sort of understanding what and research what Scientology is exactly and what they do in their place of worship. Hopefully I would gain some understanding and knowledge of what other religions, such as Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, and Islam. With all this talk about the Islamic "extremists" in the media is preposterous because I personally believe that not all Muslims are terrorists and the media would plant negative ideas in peoples minds into believing that anyone who happens to be a Muslim is a terrorist. I would not want anyone who disrespects a Muslim by calling them "Towel Heads" or "Dot Heads" and what exactly have they ever do to you? Stop being a bully, sit down and shut your mouth! No one is forcing you to be friends with them, mind your mouth and mind your manners! (*Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen to you can breathe, I think you owe it an apology. I've heard smarter things from a schizophrenic with Tourette's.*) Anyway, the saris that the Indian women wear are very pretty and I admire their choice of clothing. I plan on  learning to put the Hijab on and it looks interesting but cool to keep my hair covered. I respect the Islamic religion and as I would most religions but I'll leave it as is.

I don't know or rather, I'm not completely familiar with Scientology and I don't know what Scientologists do when they're at the Scientology Center or Scientology Church or whatever they call their place of worship. But thank God for Google search and if it weren't for Google, I would go straight to the source. Anyway, I know there's a Scientology Center somewhere in the Times Square area but never had any kind of interest or the heart to visit a Scientology Center out of all the times I've been hanging out in Times Square for the last twelve years and I don't know what they do there but it sounds like it'll satisfy my curiosity once when I'm familiar with Scientology. Other than that, as far as I know, I personally haven't met anyone who is into the whole Scientology thing and I've read articles about Scientology on Huff Post, titled 'This Is One Of The Most Shocking Scientology Stories Not In 'Going Clear'" back in March. I found it to be interesting or maybe perhaps I don't understand what Scientology is, exactly and I don't want to sit here believing that Scientology is some sort of cult that no one seems to understand. Believe what you want but I'm open to different religious beliefs and I don't want to get caught up in any misunderstandings when it comes down different religions. Whatever that these people who are into the whole Scientology thing may have to say then I'll consider it, leave it as is but I refuse to convert non-Scientology members into being a Scientologists because it's not my job to convert non-Scientology believers into Scientologists, it's pretty much up to you. As the saying goes: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."

I've had several people encouraging me to attend Sunday service and I haven't had the heart or the interest of attending Sunday service. Or perhaps I'm not spiritually ready to consider the idea of having to read the Christian bible but I've read several books on the Wiccan arts in the past and I don't speak about my interest or curiosity of Wicca. Some of the books I've read in the past were 'Nocturnal Witchcraft' by Konstantinos, 'Va-Va-Voodoo: Find Love, Make Love & Keep Love' by Kathleen Charlotte (a book I had bought at Enchantments in the East Village) a year ago and I still have to read 'Practical Guide to Psychic Self-Defense' by Osborne Phillips and Melita Denning but for my own future reading, I plan to read 'The Inner Temple of Witchcraft' by Christopher Penczak and 'The Salem Witch Trials' by Marilynne K. Roach. I've even bought a necklace, Talismans for Ghost Hunters/Attracts Good Spirits from Enchantments about a year ago. As mentioned earlier, my next two books I plan on read are 'God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything' and 'Portable Atheist' by Christopher Hitchens once when I've read and watched the remainder of Harry Potter series, I am curious enough to see what this author has to say. It's sad to hear that people say that God is supposedly "good" but look at the world around us, people dying from cancer, all this gun violence going on in schools since Columbine High School massacre (and Congress is just taking their sweet old time, not doing much to help out or prevent future gun violence, especially among the police, criminals or fellow students from using such force), more and more people being homeless here in New York (before you all jump down my throat, New York is the only place that I have ever known since I was about six weeks old), and people  making more of a big stink over the LGBT community and as well as Planned Parenthood but why not come together to end gun violence and let's find a cure for both cancer and AIDS/HIV? Look, if you can't stand seeing a gay couple who love each other (and minding their own business) and learn from it but if not, then I am sorry you're so damned miserable and lonely that you haven't found any acceptance in other people, especially in the LGBT community. Mind your manners and business. I realize it's "unnatural" but I can't help but feel happy for them. Anyway, when I'm ready, I'll consider in attending Sunday service in the future!

 

Blessed be,

Jennifer

Darth Vader's Guide to Fitness Challenge

"There are some days I feel fat. I'm not convinced there's going to be a moment where every woman in the world wakes up and feels like a million dollars. So, what I want to do is give women the tools that will help when those moments come up. Sometimes it can be as easy as telling yourself that you are beautiful." ~ Ashley Graham

Boy oh boy! I'm in need of getting in shape because I want to feel better about myself in a [healthy] way and I am pretty sure I "look" fine the way I am. As of lately, I've been doing Yoga for Belly, Butt & Thighs with Chrissy Carter (I normally do the Thighs and Complete Core segments) and I should get back into the Daily Yoga which is about 44 - 45 minutes long so worth the time (and energy). My personal goal is to increase strength in my core but more than that is to focus on my workout routine for the next eighteen months of Daily Yoga (both morning if I have time when the time permits and if I can I would do the evening yoga if I'm not totally exhausted at the end of the day), Yoga for Belly, Butt & Thighs with Chrissy Carter, and Shape: Ultimate Bikini Body Workout but I will also squeeze in Rodney Yee's Yoga for Your Week and as well as Self: Sculpt Sexy Legs Fast! I have an idea on how I'm going to do this, for Week one: Three days of Shape: Ultimate Bikini Body Workout and two days of Daily Yoga, Week two: Shape: Ultimate Bikini Body Workout for three days and Rodney Yee's Yoga for Your Week for two days, Week three: Shape: Ultimate Bikini Body Workout for three days and Yoga for Belly, Butt & Thighs with Chrissy Carter and Week four: Shape: Ultimate Bikini Boyd Workout for three days and Self: Sculpt Sexy Legs Fast! for two days then I'm going to repeat but in reverse, meaning three days of yoga for three weeks/cardio for the fourth week and two days of cardio/weight training. If I could afford it, I would go to Body By Berle in Fresh Meadows for that one-on-one personal training and I could save myself $200 bucks for about ten sessions, I feel like I need the extra help in getting in shape which is why I need the extra help! I don't know who to ask for some fitness help without emptying my wallet or even the bank account just to have a personal trainer assisting me whenever I'm not feeling as confident as I would like. It's between Body By Berle; Better Body Bootcamp or Bootcamp Republic for my personal weight training experience. Once when I achieve my goal weight of anywhere between 125 - 130 pounds, I plan on shopping at Trash and Vaudeville for some Tripp pants (I'm good on shirts for now), shoes or boots and some accessories to compliment most but not all Goth outfits once when I have my finances together in the mean time!

Main areas of my body I know I need most help with are inner thighs; arms; building my core muscles and minimizing that back fat. I mostly need help improving my posture as I workout and build stamina at the same time. I need to get back into doing 'Shape: Ultimate Bikini Body Workout' and 'Daily Yoga' more just to get in shape when I can. I ever want to get into some yoga classes, there's the HotFlexYoga for more of a workout when I have some sort of income coming in and I haven't had a chance to check out HotFlexYoga since they've opened several years ago. I haven't been asking around for a personal trainer because of my financial situation and financial concerns. I would do the whole gym membership but decided not to because why spend more money on a gym membership if I haven't asked anyone to go with me and having to spend more money than I should when I can either go to a place like Body By Berle or Bootcamp Republic to get in shape? I would personally ask my sister, Gwen for her assistance since she's a certified personal trainer at a gym in Las Vegas, Nevada but however, she can't be at two places at once! I may as well find someone who wouldn't mind helping me out and if I were to do Bootcamp Republic for three-weeks then I'll take on the 22-Day Vegan Challenge to speed up my weight loss effort so when I go to the beach or the pool, I wouldn't have to worry about other people silently body shaming me either amongst themselves or with friends. Partly I am doing this to prevent other people from body shaming me just because I've lost my motivation to lose weight since 2009 and partly I want to lose weight because I want to lose weight and feel better about myself. If I'm going to take on this fitness challenge then I would have to change my diet in order to lose weight and get in shape to have a successful relationship with both food and fitness. When time permits, I'm going to head to Barnes & Noble to purchase 'Mandy Ingber: Yogalosophy'. Again, I could use all the help I need to get in  the best shape ever!

I'm going to give myself sixty days to get in shape but I should start with thirty days with a combination of Daily Yoga, Shape: Ultimate Bikini Body Workout and as well as Yoga for Belly, Butt & Thighs with Chrissy Carter with hope that I would feel the difference within thirty days without having to change my diet (yet). I'm too intimidated to do my workouts out in public without a trainer, for example: At a park like Marie Curie in the Bayside area of Queens (New York) where they have a little area for those who want to focus on their workouts because I mostly feel awkward in working out solo without having a personal trainer at my side helping me out! I've considered in having someone who has trained people for the half marathons and whatnot, I haven't found the person who trains people for marathons or just a regular personal trainer. I realize I've gained some weight and no point of mentioning it but thank you for your concern(!). I feel like I need a trainer because I feel like I need that extra push/motivation and I would start my workouts strong then I'll slowly fall off the band wagon but I have struggled to get back on track. Once when I go on the 21-Day Vegan Challenge, I plan on preparing meals from '1,000 Vegan Recipes' by Robin Robertson and if you're wondering on how you would get protein through food, look for pages xii and xiii of '1,000 Vegan Recipes'. For more information, please check out pages 585 and 586 along with Recommended Reading on page 587.

Before you all start making erratic comments about my weight, here is what I will say is: "When was the last time you saw your whole body in the mirror? However, I would take you to an eating competition, but it looks like you already won. Twice." If I were to weigh in at (let's say 120 pounds or less) my goal weight, I'm sure people would make comments such as "You know, just starving yourself isn't gonna make you look like a supermodel. You have to actually look good too." or other comments such as "Good luck finding a guy who likes 'em bony." (Having people say "Eat a hamburger!") My best advice is to leave the person alone because you never know what their situation is [health wise] when it comes to their weight and food. I am that type of person who is made fun of because of my weight, I feel like it encourages me to eat much more than normal instead of being encouraged to lose weight and let me be the one to lose weight when I'm ready! I've honestly had people asking me if I was pregnant and my response was that I've never lost my pregnancy weight that I've gained then plus some. I'm not sure if I should be insulted by that question or if I should just laugh the question off and I realize it's an innocent question. Which is part of the reason why I want to lose some weight so I can get people to stop asking me if I'm "pregnant".

Warm blessings,

Jennifer

A Foolproof Guide to Vegan or Not to Vegan

“I think that veganism is totally great choice with incredible benefits, but I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect other people to be vegan. You can proselytize all you want, but being vegan is a pretty intense choice for a lot of people.” ~ Adam Conover

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Vegan or not to vegan, that is the question! In the last three years or so since I've made several dishes from 'Fresh From the Vegetarian Slow Cooker' by Robin Robertson and '125 Vegetarian Slow Cooker Recipes' by Judith Finlayson. Yet, my favorite recipe(s) to date are Spicy Black Beans and Rice with Mangoes from Fresh From the Vegetarian Slow Cooker and Rigatoni and Cheese from '125 Vegetarian Slow Cooker' At the end of the day, going vegetarian or vegan doesn't sound very appetizing to most people because people have this general idea that you're going to still feel hungry once when you've eaten a vegan/vegetarian meal and I'm certain that it's not true but don't be fooled because never judge a book by its cover (or knock the idea of vegan/vegetarian food) by assuming that you'd still "feel" hungry. However, go around asking friends or family if they're a vegan or vegetarian and ask them on several different occasions to prepare you some vegan meals. Yes, I realize there are people who are skeptical when it comes to eating vegan and the idea of going vegan sounds much healthier than eating meats. If I ever go vegan, I am going to miss eating ice cream or unless if vegan ice cream exist and if no vegan ice-cream exists then I'm sure I could survive life without any dairy based product such as ice cream or yogurt or being able to eat cereal or anything with dairy for that matter! I want to eat junk food without much guilt on what type of junk food I put into my body and come to think of it, I should try the vegan cheesecake. But however, my personal reason on why I would go vegan are for health reasons and no, I do not have diabetes or heart disease or anything of that nature (thank you very much for asking) but I want to feel healthier than I already am! That's my personal decision on why I would go vegan.

If you're planning on checking out vegetarian restaurants in the New York City area, check out Maoz Vegetarian (I've been to Maoz on 7th Avenue and another location on Union Square East) and their Vegan Rice Pudding is awesome (if you're a Rice Pudding fan)! Their orange juice is totally fresh and their soups aren't bad either. I've had Maoz's Hummus, Egg & Eggplant (sandwich) on whole wheat pita and it's pretty filling! I have also tried their Split Pea soup and carrot soup, not bad. My next vegan dish I plan on trying is Vegan Shawarma from Maoz Vegetarian and I'm going to search for vegan/vegetarian restaurants here in New York. It's going to be a challenge to search for any vegan/vegetarian restaurants here in the New York City area and I know of a vegetarian restaurant in the Jamaica section of Queens on 164th Street right off Hillside Avenue. I plan on trying Annam Brahma Restaurant when time permits. There is always Google search and I'm sure there'll be plenty of vegan restaurants here in Queens and Manhattan. I'm a semi-vegetarian, meaning, I still eat meat but not all meats (I'll still eat chicken and some fish if it's in a form of sushi) and I'll still have ice cream, milk or yogurt. The only exception that I'll make when it comes to pork are Roast Pork buns from TaiPan Bakery and Chinese styled spare ribs! I consider myself more of a Pollotarian, meaning that I'm a "semi-vegetarian" but I'll eat certain meats and more information is on Vegetarian Nation on the different types of vegetarian diets out there.

“I’ve never followed a vegan or vegetarian diet in the past, but I think I could do it. It would not be easy. I have worked with nutritionists who have said a vegan diet is not necessarily all positive for your health, because you need nutrients you only find in meats. I believe in a balanced diet.” ~ Joel Robuchon

I was scrolling down on my Facebook page and came across a post from z100 on 24 Junk Foods That Are Accidentally Vegan, many of them I was very surprised because I've never thought of any of them being "Vegan" friendly. One item that got me very surprised was Red Bull because I drink Red Bull and I'm a Red Bull fiend but I honestly do need to lay off on energy drinks in general or I would end up with diabetes if I am not careful. I'm not sure if this is relatable to the topic/subject of Vegan or Not to Vegan! In some weird way, I suppose this is somewhat relatable to the subject mater of vegan or being in your own bubble of where you're a semi vegetarian or vegan but then still consume [certain] meats and dairy products. Anyway, some of the items listed in the "vegan" list I'm a fan of, such as the Oreos and once in the blue, the Swedish Fish and the Sour Patch [candies]. Yet, I would have never second guessed that these 2 junk foods are accidentally vegan and nor would it have crossed my mind at all! Yet, who knew that your favorite guilty pleasure for these junk foods are vegan friendly!

“It takes a little work to be a vegan, but now it’s really possible to have tasty stuff and it’s better for you. I say the best test is to go as far as you can and see how you feel. Personally, I feel great.” ~ Grace Slick

I have been hearing about raw vegan meals and I honestly don't know much about raw vegan but I would be willing to try The Fully Challenge and The 21 Day Vegan Cleanse Challenge. In contrast, I haven't read many articles on the risks of doing the whole raw vegan diet and I've found one article on Reality Check: 5 Risks of Raw Vegan Diet. I haven't found many vegan cookbooks or even cookbooks on raw vegan at the public libraries. One of the few vegan cookbooks I've seen at the library was '1,000 Vegan Recipes' by Robin Robertson and it's one of the few books I plan on borrowing from the library in the near future. Another book I've seen at Barnes and Noble was 'PETA's Vegan College Cookbook' by PETA. I've seen cookbooks on raw vegan and as of now, I wish I could "swear" by raw vegan but I can't because I honestly haven't tried raw vegan meals. Once when I've read up on raw vegan and have more of an understanding what raw vegan is then I'll give it a try for about a month or so. I'm not afraid to try raw vegan (meaning, would I be able to find raw vegan friendly restaurants when I'm not home, for example, vacation, out on a date, out with friends, etc.)? I'm concerned that if I were to go on dates and there aren't many vegan friendly restaurants out there but I suppose you'd have to know where to go. Where can I go for more information on raw vegan other than Google?

Warm blessings,

Jennifer

Photo Plus Expo 2015

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! I've been to the Photo Plus Expo twice since 2012, the first time I had gone to the Photo Plus Expo at the Jacob Javits Convention Center was for the test drive and the last time I had gone the Expo was on the last day of the Expo which was loads of fun! I hope I can attend this years fun festivities at the Javits Center and if I'm able to make it to the Expo this year, I hope to take as many pictures as I can so I can post them to my Flickr page once when I've developed the film. If I find employment by the end of September, I'll register for the Photo Plus Expo and I'm hoping that I would have a whole new set of business cards from Vistaprint by then but if I don't get to do either the Expo or the business cards then I'll use up the ones I currently have (even though I don't always have the funds to purchase a phone card a good part of the time). A former friend, Jason had told me about the Photo Plus Expo about several months before the Expo and I had fun when I had first gone to the expo. From the photography work I've seen from Jason. I've seen better and in my opinion, I just think he's a better writer than he is as a photographer (just saying). Jason does work for the Canarsie Courier both as a photographer and as a journalist. But you can check him out on deviantArt as well. Not to toot my own horn, I just think my photography is much better than Jason's and for some reason, I'm not a fan of using the same location more than three times but with Jason, he likes to use the same location at Central Park. Jason has his own Facebook page (Freeze Frame Foto; Model Mayhem; CosPlayNYC, Wordpress; NY Anime Examiner; and CosPlayNYCMag) and I would say, do not follow any of his pages but follow mine at Scorpion Images on Facebook; Twitter; and Instagram. (I am also searching for work as a photographer.)

Anyway, this year's Photo Plus Expo should be awesome and I look forward in attending this year to connect with fellow photographers in the field! I'm secretly hoping I'd get paid for my services if I were to shadow a fellow photographer and be able to eventually showcase my photography to potential (and future) clients once when I've set up a portfolio of various projects I've done.

Check out Wedding and Portrait Photographers International Expo in Las Vegas, Nevada at the MGM Grand in the future.

Ilford Photo

Warm blessings,

Jennifer

The [LGBT] Center

"Gay rights is just a matter of time. Look at the polls. Worrying about gay marriage, let alone gay civil unions or gay employment rights, is a middle-age issue. Young people just can't see the problem. At worse, gays are going to win this one just by waiting until the opposition dies off." ~ Gail Collins.

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namaste. I've been to The Center on several occasions and my experiences were positive. I have enjoyed my experiences at The Center and some of the programs/activities were awesome! However, I realize The Center is mainly for those in the LGBT community and people who are religious feel that homosexuality is a "sin". How do/would you define sin in your own words without referring to the Holy Bible or dictionary? If you can't simply answer that question in one sentence than you can't or have no right to judge those who are homosexual and if you keep telling people that "Only God can judge!" than you turn around in the most hypocritical way by judging other people when people in the LGBT community are not paying your rent or putting food in your refrigerator than mind your business! Let them live their lives and you live your own life, it's as simple as that.

In terms of my own sexuality, I'm going to plead the fifth on admitting/revealing my sexuality because I don't or never found it relevant to make any mention to anyone about my sexuality and it's no one's business but my own. If I really want to let people know than I'd say something to you which means I'm comfortable in telling you and if I choose NOT to say anything to you than don't force the issue. I've had guys hit on me mostly for all of the wrong reasons and it's exhausting but I generally reject a lot of these guys which is why I never have accepted a date. In most cases, I most likely am missing out on the dating scene and if I were to be asked out on a date by a woman, I may or may not accept the offer. I've been hit on once by a drunk white woman, and that experience was awkward because I am not or wasn't to being hit on by women. I haven't been hit on by women (drunk or sober) since that summer night of 2013. I'm used to being hit on by mostly guys and I haven't taken the bait (dating wise) because I'm assuming most of these guys wants to be with me for all of the wrong reasons.

Back to the topic, if you're someone who is in the LGBT community and feel like you have no place to go, I would say go to The Center to make new friends and have fun, or if you're in need of support or if you're looking for a LGBT - friendly environment than check out the Center! If you're looking for support groups/recurring meetings and events such as Bi Perspective, Bi Request, Gay & Lesbian Reading Group, Photography Club, South Asian Lesbian & Gay Association (SALGA) Support Group, or Zappalorti Society, just to name a few, feel free to check for their schedule and time of their events. If things had been different (meaning the events that went down since 2009 and if I had my own apartment to call my own) on my behalf than I would be able to check out the support groups I've just mentioned and there are two support groups in particular that stands out which is Emotional Wellness in Recovery and Women in Recovery. It's one of those support groups that are by appointment only and are open to those are registered Center Recovery clients. The Emotional Wellness in Recovery and other similar groups are closed groups but you'd have to contact them to become a client. I've been suffering/living with depression since 2009, if  not longer and it is not a pleasant feeling to deal with but I will leave it at that!

Before I fail to mention the location of The Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual & Transgender Community Center, it's located in Manhattan and I'm not familiar with the driving directions. They're located at 208 West 13th Street, New York, New York 10011 (between 7th and 8th Avenues) and by public transportation, take the A, C, E, 1, 2, 3, F or the Path trains to 14th Street. The Center is an amazing place to be during your spare time and I haven't had any negative complaints from the times I've been or have visited The Center. At the end of the day, you're with someone who has come out of the closet, most people in the LGBT community have a lot of love but no one to share it with! I applaud those who are brave enough to come out of the closet and for those who disrespect those who are heterosexual, I wouldn't want to be around ignorance.

"Loads of my friends are lesbians, and it really annoys me that gay people aren't allowed to get married in most parts of America. I'd go on a march for gay rights any time." ~ Pink.

Warm blessings,

Jennifer

Don't Stay in School

“Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.” ~ Malcolm X

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namaste. 🧘🏾‍♀️ I was watching this this television show, Right This Minute on Fox 5 and they showed this viral video: 'Don't Stay in School' of this guy talking about things that you do in the real world such as paying taxes; current events that's going on in the world. I agree with this guy because things like this you'd have to figure it out within your own life upon graduating high school. When I was in school, I wasn't taught how to balance a check book or anything of that nature and when it came down to using algebra, when at some point are we ever going to use algebra; calculus; geometry; and trigonometry? The only arithmetic we ever use in our everyday life are addition; subtraction; multiplication; and division. It's different if you're teaching math in school but all in reality, when will the average person going to use algebra beyond high school or college? I'm not sure what jobs that actually deal with all things mathematics other than accounting; retail (i.e. retail, restaurants, bodegas, etc) and just to name a few. For me personally, it's nice knowing algebra but as I feel that it is wasted knowledge if never used in the real world and keep in mind, I have a fourth grade math level, no matter how many times you explain it to me, I'm still going to be very much lost; confused; and frustrated. All things math is my kryptonite and all things involving reading and writing are my super powers so to speak. Just because math isn't my strong subject doesn't mean I'm incompetent but it doesn't mean that you have to treat me any different than the next person and end of story because I'm not going to convince anyone anything different. What I know is what I know and what you know is what you know, no one can take that knowledge away from either one of us. Yet, I agree, schools don't teach us how to get or find employment; showing us how to balance a check book or assist us in creating resumes and cover letters, ways to get past job interviews the first time around successfully or learning CPR. Nonetheless, I feel that teachers should teach students how to create their cover letters and resumes starting in their sophomore of high school so this way by the time the student is about to graduate high school, they would have already perfected their cover letters and resumes by then. Hopefully it's a useful suggestion to every school across America and globally but not limited to just public schools but expand the knowledge of knowing how to create cover letters and resumes to private schools and Yeshivahs if they haven't done so already. Give us the proper life saving skills in order for us to survive in the real world other than providing us the basic knowledge of knowing how to read; write; and do math. Also show us how to perform CPR because it's a life saving skill and it's a shame it's not even taught in all schools around the world. BoyInABand talks about how things are not being "used" in the real world beyond high school and college. 

 "In a world that is constantly changing, there is no one subject or set of subjects that will serve you for the foreseeable future, let alone for the rest of your life. The most important skill to acquire now is learning how to learn." ~ John Naisbitt

This dude had done a follow up video of 'Reacting to “Don’t Stay in School” hate comments' and you can find his videos on YouTube at BoyInABand. He makes a valid point because there are certain things the school systems don't teach you how to deal with a broken heart or teach you to be street smart but then at the same time be book smart, there are benefits of remaining in high school like graduating with your friends. I personally don't agree with dropping out of school just because you feel a certain way about education and I'd rather encourage people to do what they have to do and graduate, even if you don't have the grades to graduate on time. I'm rooting for you. Here's a clip from America's Top Model: ANTM - Tyra screams at contestant (Legendado) aka Tyra goes crazy! That's my message for those considering dropping out of high school. I understand if life got in the way such as cancer or pregnancy. I believe there's still hope for you. Either way as I see it, you're going to be in a classroom setting anyway getting your G.E.D when you can get your high school experience of over with is by sticking with it until graduation and it's understandable if life got in the way preventing you from graduating high school. Granted, there are parents who work two jobs just to make ends meet and may not have the time or the energy to properly teach their children how to accomplish the real world issues such as going out interacting with people in the community but as a collective, we have to do better. Both parents and teachers have to work together in case if the parents work two or three jobs to make ends meet in this day and age where the cost of living is uncomfortably expensive.

"I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing." ~ Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

Board of Education should hire teachers who are genuinely invested in their students by being stern and I remember when I was attending Benjamin N. Cardozo High School, a lot of the English teachers I've had during my sophomore and junior years of high school, weren't strict. I started high school as a sophomore because I graduated from Louis Pasteur Middle School 67 from the ninth grade in June of 1998. I feel like the teachers were too freaking soft on us at the time and there was this one teacher I had, her name was Ms. Stecker, she was strict. She gave us homework every single day, Fridays included and although she taught special education at the time, she treated us like weren't special education students, she treated us as though we were college students. I'm not sure if that makes sense but I'm sure that sounded very confusing to a lot of you reading this. Now that I'm older, I appreciate Ms. Stecker because she wanted us to succeed in life and even though a lot of the writing is now via text messaging or emailing people, it's rare to see people actually writing letters or anything that includes paper and pen. Nowadays, it's not necessary for teachers to teach cursive writing to students and it would be great if penmanship was still encouraged in schools, as well as out in the world more so than the concept of technology both in schools and out in the community. Well, times have changed and life as we know it is not the same since I've graduated in 2001. I realize a lot has changed since I've graduated high school in June 2001 and there's pros and cons to this particular topic of what should be taught in all schools for that matter that will help people be productive members of society with the knowledge of knowing how to balance check books; creating cover letters and resumes; preparing for going on job interviews, etc. It's a plus if you're both book smart and as well as street smart then I'd call it survival. I don't expect many of you to agree with me and this is how I view the world through my eyes and draw my own conclusion. That's just me because I am my own person with a sound mind, body, and soul. 😋 When it comes down to all things algebra, when will we ever use algebra equations such as (-2 + 6) + (-8) = -2 + [6 + (-8)] or even 258 + (-43) -27 -(-145) out in the real world? 🤔 I highly doubt we will ever get to use algebra; geometry; calculus or trigonometry and I wonder what those have to do with the kind of math we use every day (addition; subtraction; division; and multiplication)? Maybe my way of thinking is wrong and I don't expect many of you to fully agree with me 100% but I am open to hearing your arguments out of respect. Keep all comments respectful and no bullying. It's okay to agree to disagree. In public schools don't teach us how to get jobs or pay taxes and I'm not sure how things are done in private schools since I've never attended private schools since it wasn't in my mom's budget at the time and she wasn't receiving the financial help from my biological father (although she allegedly claimed she had a court order that my father pays child support). Let's change our education systems here in America and as well as around the world each generation will be able to flourish and prosper!

This meme makes complete sense if you think about it! May as well just figure it out for yourselves. I'm not encouraging you to drop out but these things are not even taught in schools such as The Black Panther Party; Fred Hampton; Malcolm X or what they stood for. It's like you have to do your own research and it's interesting how they briefly teach students about Adolf Hitler. Think about it and you have to learn about The Black Panther Party from those who lived through that time period. Insane how the KKK still exist while The Black Panther Party dwindled away by 1980.

Warm blessings,

Jennifer

That Awkward Moment

If you've used 35mm film before (past and present) and if you do not own a flash attachment for your film camera, I would heavily suggest for those to purchase one from your local photography store because of an experience that has happened to me a year ago when I was asked to do a candid photo opt. I wasn't prepared with a flash attachment for my camera when I went to the Marriott Marquis in Times Square at this one restaurant called The View and it was my mistake of not asking questions on the lighting situation, as well as checking the place out in advance. The film I used was a Kodak Tri-X (400 ISO) and luckily I was able to develop the film at school (the roll of film I used was Black & White). That night, I was really concerned about the quality of the film because of the very low lighting situation and another mistake was not buying a flash attachment from B&H. When I developed the roll of film at school, the roll of film was garbage because many of the frames were too dark and unusable to scan and edit. It became that awkward but an uncomfortable moment and how do you tell someone that the whole roll of film was/is unusable?

Several months later, I was looking up flash attachments on the B&H website, printed out potential copies of flash attachments and I had gone to B&H. AN employee at B&H had suggested a Sunpak Auto 422D Thryistor Flash attachment for my Minolta X-370 camera which costs $29.95 just for the flash attachment alone and I loved it because I've had the opportunity of using the flash attachment on two different occasions since I bought it from B&H almost a year ago. From the two times I've used my flash attachment, many of the photos came out fabulous! I hope to use my flash attachment again in the near future and I want to put my flash attachment to good use for as long as I can! My next item I plan on saving up for are Induro Adventure AKB2 Tripod Kit, reflectors, a Lowepro Pro Runner 450 AW Backpack (two or three, one bag for a photo shoot, one for travel purposes and a third just for leisure), an Apple laptop, an extra low lighting lens and whatever else that may come to mind at a later date. I have a lot of saving up to do and limiting my spending habits only to taking care of my son and saving up for photography equipment. If I could do what I can in terms of finding employment than I would be all set once when I'm established with work and save my money wisely (I hope). Just use some magick and I hope using some magick would help my money grow!

If you're new to the photography field and if the only camera that you that is within your budget, go for it. Yes, even if you're one of the few people that you actually own a 35 mm film camera when the rest of society owns a DSLR camera nowadays and I realize film cameras are mainly from the dinosaur ages but I think film photography is worth the experience (more than digital photography). But always be prepared with plenty of film, a flash attachment, and spare batteries for both your flash attachment and camera (in case if you forget to recharge your batteries over night to avoid that whole awkward moment of "How do I tell this person that the roll of film is no good so (s)he doesn't that I am a fraud?" It's always important to be prepared for such occasions if you're ever asked to do a pre-candid engagement photo shoot at a restaurant with low lighting.

Warm blessings,

Jennifer

Valentine's Day

"'Happily Single' is recognizing that you don't need or want to be reduced from your life by a handsome prince because your life is pretty awesome, as is." ~ Mandy Hale

As I'm sitting behind the computer at the library on Valentine's Day and I don't have any plans for tonight (both unfortunately and fortunately). It'll be one of those Valentine's of where I end up just staying home watching some cheesy chick flick, downing a gallon of Edy's Slow Churned Cookie Dough ice cream and instead of Chinese take out, I'll have myself an order of the Philadelphia sushi rolls (along with other sushi rolls). No one invited me to hang out with anyone for Valentine's Day and it's just another Valentine's Day just being bored. I have six movies to watch while I'm downing a cake, if I had the money, I'd get some Philadelphia sushi rolls (Chinese food is just too predictable) and I'll just spend my Valentine's Day at home mostly while most couples are going out to dinner or doing whatever they're doing on Valentine's Day. The movies I've borrowed from the library are: George Lopez: Tall, Dark & Chicano; Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain; Ted; Ghostbusters; Ghostbusters 2; and Friends With Benefits. I'm not sure which movie to watch first and if things had turned out differently (For example: My unplanned pregnancy, if I was financially stable enough to survive on my own and having my own apartment, no questions asked, etc.) in my life then I would be okay. If I had my own apartment now, I doubt I would be able to fully enjoy the idea of being able to pick up and go whenever I please without the concern of having to hire a baby sitter if I had my own apartment (wishful thinking, huh?). That experience will be bittersweet of having my own apartment, it'll be bitter because I'll be all about just going off to work and being a mom but it'll be sweet because I wouldn't have anyone to answer to on where I'm going or who I'm hanging out with or what time I'll be home, etc.

My profound Valentine's Day was when I was either in the 7th or 8th grades when I was attending Louis Pasteur J.H.S. 67, I recall the class going to the S.O store (Student Organization) and sometime later, the class came back to class, several minutes later, someone from the S.O Store came to class with a balloon was from a secret admirer! To this day, I still have no idea who sent me the balloon! It's been 18 - 19 years since that day and I know had two guys who liked me, my friend, Tyrone (at the time he was my partner in crime), and another kid named Eric. Yet, all the other Valentine's Day after 18 - 19 years have been a blur and I've just been oblivious for the last 17+ (or so) years since that time (before or after). That day was the only best (but flattering) memory I ever have until now and I know for the last several Valentine's Days (last several years) I've been working on Valentine's Day (when I had a paycheck coming in). I need to get out more, whether if it's on a date or just a girls night out and having a girls night out (guilt free) is something I don't do very often.

I've been stalking Plenty Of Fish website in debate on whether or not if I should create an on-line dating profile and I've been checking out people's Plenty of Fish profiles, some of the profiles seem cool. I would rather meet my significant other in person outside of the cyber world and in some respect, the idea of "meeting someone" on-line sounds creepy but I'll keep an open mind when it comes to dating websites such as Plenty of Fish! I don't want to be cat fished and be made into a national joke like that football player, Manti Te'o. Anyway, I'm looking to just dating and I'm not looking for a committed relationship at the moment, perhaps in about five or ten years from now I may want to settle down but not right now. If I could chose between a Platonic diplomatic relationship or a Friends With Benefits "lifestyle", I would chose a Platonic/Diplomatic relationship over friends with benefits. I'm not going to lie, I'm skeptical on dating websites such as Plenty of Fish; Match; eHarmony; and among other on-line dating websites. I'll eventually decide whether or not if I seriously want to sign up for Plenty of Fish. For those with a Plenty of Fish profile, what was your personal experiences like (both positive and negative)?

Warm blessings,

Jennifer

The 57th Grammy's

"Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything." ~ Plato

Even though the 57th Grammy's was flawless, many of the performances were awesome. AC/DC were awesome and AC/DC have positive reviews in my book! It was awesome how they had legends such as Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, AC/DC, among others who have either performed or present an award. When Taylor Swift came out to present an award for Best New Artist, I liked her dress but however, it's a dress I personally wouldn't wear and I still enjoyed her dress! Congratulations on Sam Smith's wins (Record of the Year; "Stay With Me [Darkchild Verzion]; Song of the Year, Album of the Year, Best New Artist and Best Pop Vocal Album). Pharrell Williams had put on an amazing performance of 'Happy' and when the church choir came out during the performance, they mad you want to party, high energy performance and the piano solo was fabulous. Way to go for the Asian dude playing the piano! I'm not a fan of country music but Miranda Lambert had a nice stage vibe and congratulations on her Grammy win of Best Country Album. I enjoyed both Kanye West's performance of 'Only One' and Madonna's performance of Living For Love. I have no complaints on Kanye West's performance. Madonna looks good for her age and I loved the choreography for her new song, 'Living For Love'. When Beyoncé won Best R&B Song for 'Drunk In Love' featuring Jay-Z, I thought Jay-Z should have gone on stage along with Beyoncé to accept the award since he was featured in 'Drunk In Love' and I believe he along with Beyoncé should have also received credit as well. It makes me wonder if Beyoncé was trying to save face with what's going on between her and Jay-Z since the elevator incident. As always, I realize their marriage isn't perfect as everyone wish to believe.

I'm not completely familiar with Ed Sheeran's music other than 'Thinking Out Loud' and not exactly my kind of music I would normally listen to on an average day. Yet, Ed Sheeran's performance was pleasant but enjoyable. Most of these artists I'm not familiar with such as Beck or haven't heard of. When Beck won an award for Album of the Year beating out Beyoncé, Kanye West was about to jump on stage and I would have loved to hear what he had to say. As they say, history was about to repeat itself when Kanye West jumped on stage and bitched about how Beyoncé should have won the award. If you're not a Beck fan or never heard of him, chances are, you're probably like: "Who the heck is Beck? Never heard of him!" If you're one of the few that have heard of Beck, than good for you. But over all, The Grammy's was amazing.

I'm not a fan of Tony Bennett but his performance with Lady Gaga, 'Cheek to Cheek' was a nice performance. I'm a fan of several of Maroon 5's songs but not many and it's not enough to say that I'm a "fan". When Gwen Stefani joined Adam Levine to perform 'My Heart Is Open' and I must admit that Gwen Stefani looked stunning in her red dress! Red is my second favorite color. Annie Lennox joined the young Irish rocker Hoizer for his hit "Take Me to Church / I Put a Spell on You (Medley)" and her cover of Screamin' Jay Hawkins's "I Put a Spell on You" was a satisfying performance. What more can I say about Annie Lennox? With the performances in between, I haven't kept track of during The Grammy's since half these bands I'm not familiar with since some of these bands were country singers. I loved Kanye West, Rihanna and Paul McCartney's performance of 'FourFiveSeconds', their performance was totally awesome, they were one of my favorite performances of the night! I have no complaints about Sam Smith and Mary J. Blige's 'Stay With Me', they were awesome as well. Last performance of the night were John Legend and Common, I haven't had a chance to hear their song, 'Glory', and I'm now a fan of the song, it has a very poetic vibe to it but it makes sense. Props to John Legend and Common for the song. Beyoncé's performance of 'Take My Hand. Precious Lord' was a decent performance was beautiful despite the fact I'm not a religious person and nor do I attend church on Sundays as I prefer to stay in my nice warm bed. What was your favorite Grammy moment?

I keep hearing about the Pre-Grammy Parties and if Clive Davis is reading this blog, please invite me to your next Pre-Grammy Party next year! Since I'm a Fine Arts Photography student, I would love to fly out to California for the Pre-Grammy Party and snap up a whole bunch of photos while I'm out there. That would make my day if I was able to fly out to California for the Pre-Grammy Party and photograph the events going on at the party. I have three goals but I realize it's not a "realistic dream" and here it goes: 1) Work for the Rolling Stones Magazine, 2) Guest on America's Next Top Model and 3) Photograph the Pre-Grammy Party and as well as the Grammy's! I doubt it'll happen but I hope I can make some sort of connection in the long run.

For more of The 57th Grammy's winners, check out The Rolling Stones 'Complete Winners List'.

Warm blessings,

Jennifer

The Art of Buying Gifts

Namaste. When buying a gift, may it be a birthday or a holiday gift, be mindful of what you buy but to be more specific: body sprays, body lotions and body wash because you never know if the person may have allergies towards the fragrances. I honestly don't mind any of those items but I want to lean more towards nose friendly items that aren't from Bath and Body Works Store or the section in Victoria's Secret that sells body sprays and such. However, I do shop at Victoria's Secret once in the blue to treat myself to a little something, something whenever I can but shopping at Victoria's Secret doesn't happen very often (I'll window shop mostly). I'll be happy with either money or a gift card, as far as gift cards are concerned, the main stores I really shop at are: B&H, occasionally I shop at Adorama, Kohl's, The Gap, Barnes and Noble Bookstore (mostly for journals or cookbooks), often times Macy's, Game Stop is cool but I'm not much of a gamer (just to give you the heads up) and Old Navy. Once in the blue, I'll go to the nail salon for a pedicure and/or manicure and if I'm able to, I'd go for an eyebrow threading when I can. I don't get to shop at Hot Topic very often considering I haven't seen any Tripp clothing being sold at Hot Topic and they're pretty expensive as well. I would love to shop at Trash and Vaudeville in the East Village as well as Enchantment Inc (also located in the East Village). Make-up wise, I normally buy some Cover Girl eye liner and mascara when I can but it's very rare that I buy eye make-up because of how expensive buying make-up can be. Or I buy whatever make-up is on sale but I will give Mac Cosmetics a try. I've been to Foto Care in the Flatiron section of Manhattan to buy some film, some of the film are a bit expensive than when I normally shop at B&H or Adorama for some of the same film! If you're not 100% sure of what to purchase for me, feel free to ask!
 
Gifts I wouldn't suggest are mainly body sprays, body lotions and/or body wash and an ugly sweater. There had been times where my mother and stepfather have complained that the spray smells when I've only sprayed a tiny bit on! My mom normally complains that the spray smells like "roach spray" and I don't know how she figures that the body spray smells like "roach spray" (go figure). I appreciate the thought of body sprays, body lotions and/or body wash, though but some of the fragrances aren't nose/allergy friendly to some people's noses and you never know if the person  you're buying the gift for may be allergic or have allergies towards the fragrances. Certain fragrances smell way better than others and my favorite fragrances on men are Calvin Klein - Eternal and Christian Dior - Addict. I'm not too big on buying people (men or women) body spray, body lotions and body wash products for people because I personally don't know if they're going to be, let's say, offended by that idea. In terms of body sprays and body lotions, it would be something that I would not suggest in buying for me and luckily I haven't had any allergies towards the body spray and/or body lotions. I would take the traditional route of either money or a gift certificate any day to play it safe and if I can, I would make a Christmas gift by hand and add a little something to it.  I would shop at Michael's to purchase some plastic canvas to make a project and I would rather have some Christmas/holiday items already made and wrapped, just to be prepared but I've been slacking off. Let's just hope I can be prepared for this year and I have yet to shop at Michael's in Manhasset when it comes summer so I can travel there by bus!

Just to give people more of a clear idea of where I actually do shop or what interests me, stores I generally shop at are: B&H or Adorama for my photography supplies (such as film, ink jet paper or the photographic paper specifically used for the dark room but I'm more of a regular customer at B&H than I am at Adorama), The Gap, Kohl's, Macy's, Barnes and Noble Bookstore for cookbooks and/or journals, Modell's, Skechers, Apple Store when I can, Victoria's Secret; Old Navy; Trash and Vaudeville; Best Buy; and I often shop at Enchantments Inc NYC in the East Village for items. I'm also a fan of Maoz Vegetarian which is a vegetarian spot in Manhattan and the two locations I've visited are Union Square (it's on Union Square East between 16th and 17th Street) and as well as the one in Times Square (on 7th Avenue, corner of 40th Street) but I haven't visited Maoz in the Greenwich Village area or the location in the Upper West Side. There are more Maoz restaurants in the Manhattan area. I haven't visited the Loving Hut on 7th Avenue in Manhattan yet but I Googled searched Loving Hut but they're unfortunately closed but there is a Loving Hut in the Brooklyn area! I'm also a huge fan of Starbucks and I'd normally order a Grande Caramel Frappuccino and a Seasonal Harvest Fruit Blend but if Cranberry Bliss Bars are in season, that's what I normally get but if not, I normally get the Strawberry Smoothie, Orange Mango Smoothie, Oprah Chai Tea, Roasted Tomato & Mozzarella Panini, a Greek Yogurt with Berries Parfait, Hearty Veggie & Brown Rice Salad Bowl or a Zesty Chicken & Black Bean Salad Bowl. It depends on what I would normally order but that's more of a general idea of what I would normally go for. A friendly suggestion from me is pay very close attention to what I'm into and the whole ugly sweater is something that I'll pass up on with little to no interest in the ugly sweater (no, no but thank you anyway). In terms of movies, my theater preference to go to would have to be mainly be Regal Cinema but specifically in Union Square and I honestly do not do AMC theaters because their membership (AMC Stubs) are expensive considering the fact that I am not a frequent movie goer. However, I go to Regal Cinema since I get to use my Regal Crown Club and it's free of charge to apply for. In case for those who don't know, I am a fan of vampires and Goth in realization that I don't dress in Goth attire 24/7 but it's my personal preference.

• Adorama
• B&H
• Barnes & Noble
• The Gap
• Model’s
• Skechers
• Apple Store
• Trash & Vaudeville
• Starbucks
• Regal Crown Club
• Michael’s

The most awesome birthday/holiday gift(s) would have to be my very own dark room but I know it won't happen because my stepfather's apartment doesn't have the space to even fit any of the equipment such as the Mechanical Darkroom Timer, Bestwell Minisight Focusing Aid, an Easel, an Enlarger, chemicals, developing trays (one set for 5x7, a second set for 8x10), Film Drying Cabinet and whatever else I may need. Another gift idea would be, I currently own a 35mm film camera and these films I normally use. I currently use: Ilford Delta 100, Ilford Delta 3200, Ilford HP5, Ilford XP2, and Fujifilm when out shooting. Those are my personal suggestions for now and film are greatly appreciated! Thank you very much. In terms of upgrading to a digital camera, it would be something that I would personally hold off on until I've gotten myself an Apple computer in order to download images/videos onto the computer than onto a CD format and in the meantime, I am perfectly content with my 35mm film camera! I'm also looking to purchase a Lowepro SlingShot 302 AW Camera Bag. However, to make your lives much easier and I have created a wish list via B&H for those who are not entirely sure on what to get me for my birthday or the holiday season. Anything photography and music related I will be happy with. I plan on [at some point] purchase myself an iPod from the Apple store on Fifth Avenue and purchase an iPod Touch, the 128gb because knowing myself I will fill up the 16gb with a bunch of music. I'm contemplating whether or not if I should purchase three iPod Touches (one will be a holiday iPod in red and the other two will be in Space Grey colours which will have a variety of music on the other two iPod Touches). Furthermore, I hope this list helps folks an idea of what to get and what not to purchase either as a birthday gift when my birthday arrives in November or during the holiday season! Another great birthday/holiday gift would have to be Bose since they're a decent set of items to purchase and I realize that I have some expensive taste in things but other headsets will do until I've found a decent paying job in order to purchase a Bose portable sound system and Bose headset. I wouldn't consider myself a Christian nor a Jew but I will celebrate either or both holidays (Christmas and Hanukkah). Lastly, I am not a practicing Christian/Catholic but I don't believe in either faith and tradition. Having my very own dark room would be the best birthday/holiday gift I can ask for! "I'm a photographer, period. I love photography, the immediacy of it. I like the craft, the idea of saying 'I'm a photographer.'" ~ David LaChappelle.

Yes, I realize that it's the thought that counts and you had me in mind when you bought your birthday/holiday gift for me at the time. Ugly sweaters and body sprays/body lotions are out of the question but will regift them to someone else but I will wear the ugly sweater once just to appease you but will regift the ugly sweater. I hope you take none to personal offense to it. As mentioned before, please keep the mentioned items above in mind when you're out shopping and yes, I appreciate your generous offer for those who choose to save and purchase a digital camera for future reference. Black is my favorite colour and avoid anything pink.

Warm blessings,

Jennifer

Super Bowl 49 (Half Time)

I may not be a huge/die hard fan of football (the American version) fan, nor am I a fan of sports and the idea of sports tend to bore me mostly. I had no interest of watching the Super Bowl or the half time show but I'm glad I watched the half time and I had made it out of the shower in time when Katy Perry began her half time performance. I'm not a huge fan of Katy Perry but the only song I'm more of a fan of is "California Girls" featuring Snoop Dogg and "I Kissed A Girl" is a cool song but not my exact favorite. It was awesome when Lenny Kravitz came out to perform but it was more of an "Oh SNAP!" moment when Missy Elliott came out to perform and I happen to be a fan of both Missy Elliott and Lenny Kravitz, so that made my night. As far as the rest of the Super Bowl, I couldn't careless about and don't ask me what team was playing against who. Don't ask me which two teams played in the Super Bowl 48 last year because I don't remember and I also couldn't careless. Sports is such a yawn for me but I could deal with figure skating but never sports such as football, baseball, European football (soccer), basketball and among other sports. However, as a photographer, I don't do (photograph) sports and I'm not sure if anyone would consider Martial Arts (or even Mixed Martial Arts) to be a "sport" but that's the only thing I'd photograph compared to baseball, hockey, basketball, football, and etc.

If someone asked me who Tom Brady or Eli Manning was or what teams they both represented and I wouldn't have the slightest clue. But if it was Derek Jeter, I'd know who he is and all I know is that he was the team captain for the New York Yankees before he retired last year or last season. Any other sports star, I wouldn't know who they are and don't ask me what team Michael Strahan before he joined Kelly Rippa. I never heard of Jerry Rice until he was on Dancing With the Stars and I know there was another football player on Dancing With the Stars but can't remember who it was. Not that it matters when it comes to sports and I'm not sure what people get out of sports anyway. I personally don't find sports to be entertaining than I ever would. Sports to me is very much less  boring and I literally fell asleep during the Super Bowl, so I never caught who won but oh well.

I'm glad I don't have any slight interest in Fantasy Football and what's so awesome about Fantasy Football anyway? I'm sure it's like gambling at a casino but just in sports and I would participate in Fantasy Football but it sounds complicated but boring. I'm sure people had made good money out of Fantasy Football but it makes me wonder if it's legal enough for people NOT to go to jail over it and I'm not going to get involved with Fantasy Football since I don't need to get myself into debt over, probably not worth it since I don't earn enough to get myself involved. Fantasy Football may not be my thing but I'll stick to what actually interests me most which is spending some time in the dark room either developing film or making prints and I honestly don't want to be indoors for several hours watching sports. It's just the though that makes me not want to acknowledge the idea of sports whatsoever and I don't speak sports as a second language.

Warm blessings,

Jennifer

Life As We Know It

"I'm going to be true to what I want to do, because if I care what people think about me, I'm a puppet. Which I have been in my life. And you can't live life that way, man!" ~ Donny Osmond.

I've always been an introvert for all my life and I personally have no issue with it whatsoever. My shyness had always held me back from wanting to interact with people [conversation wise], however, I realize I need some major improvements with my social skills so I can hold a conversation (minus the awkwardness) beyond the small talk of: "Hi, how are you?" I don't expect to be the center of attention and I don't initiate conversations due to my overactive shyness/awkwardness. Yet, I have no problem in being around small crowds of people and a lot of the time, my shyness gets the best of me. I want to kick my shyness to the curb so I can become an extrovert and in some respect, I can be an extrovert only with people I feel comfortable with but most of the time I consider myself an introvert. I'm not certain if it's a positive thing or a negative way of looking at my shyness. On the same token, there would be negative moments of where my depression keeps me from wanting to live life without the shame or guilt of wanting to live life. I don't mean living it up at the club every single weekend when I have a 5 year-old to care for (unfortunately, I don't have that luxury of being able to pick up and go whenever I feel like it, guilt free).

My definition of living life is living in the moment without fear, concern, defeat, the guilt, and just being able to let go of the negativity. I haven't figured out on how to live life in the moment minus the guilt, shame, feeling terrified and holding myself back of wanting live life in a positive way so I can eventually look back at my life and be proud of myself without much disappointment. I think as children, you tend to live in the moment because children don't have agendas (whether positive or negative), checklists and other adult concerns (Example: Bills, etc.) to deal with. But as you get older, you tend to "lose" that feeling (of living life or living in the moment) and become more focused on college, getting your career going, knowing where you're at in life at that exact moment, eventually setting down for the right reason with the possibility of being someone's husband/wife or being someone's mother/father, etc. I'm just not ready to settle down and become someone's wife yet and I don't believe in marriage, I still have time until I find the right person.

I never planned to become a mom, I had other ideas in mind at age 26 and I suppose life "had other plans" for me, I never had any intentions or plans for motherhood and I wanted to get everything out of my system so I'm not questioning myself on the should have, could have, would have or what if, etc. For example, I wanted to earn my Associates Degree (or rather A.A.S) and finally going on to earning a Bachelor's Degree (B.A, whichever you would like to say) in Fine Arts Photography, get my career going in photography, get all the partying out of my system, explore life by traveling around the world, exploring different people from different cultures, live life, become established with a decent income so I'm not struggling to take care of myself but as long as I'm doing okay for myself financially, becoming comfortable and confident in my own skin. I still have the world to explore before I settle down and I'm still healthy enough to conquer the world. At the end of the day, I don't want to be 90 something and finally going to all sorts of night clubs partying with people who are half my age. I want to live life without the guilt, shame or fear. I want to have some fun before I become old and immobile in a sickly way, I want to be or live to see 90 looking back knowing that I've lived life without much guilt, shame or fear. I eventually want to settle down in about five or ten years from now and there will come a time where the whole Friends With Benefits will eventually come to an end. I realize I'm getting older and there are certain things that I would love to leave behind, such as the whole Friends With Benefits and/or being someone's booty call. I want to have a clear mind and as well as a clear conscious for when I feel ready to settle down.

It makes me wonder if I'm a loss cause considering I've always held myself back from wanting to live life without much guilt, shame or fear. Don't get me wrong, I do want to have as much fun as I can before I lay on my deathbed with many regrets and at the end of the day, you only live once. I realize I'm a single parent (I never intended to become a mom at age 26) to a 5 year-old, I'm not sure how to feel about motherhood and motherhood came into the picture when I haven't experienced life yet. I'm sure it can have a negative effect on my own well being because I'm always either working or caring for my son and in the end, I feel restless while my friends are out having the time of their lives while I'm at home either on a Friday or Saturday night. I also want to have my fair share of fun to maintain my own sanity in a healthy way. On the positive note, motherhood has kept me busy and out of trouble. I'm pretty much stuck in that predicament of those thoughts. I'm always concerned with what others think, I don't want to be that person who is always concerned with what others think of me and I want to live life the best that I can without regret.

Warm blessings,

Jennifer