Out of Focus Fixes

"Some people find peace in nature. I find mine in the darkroom." ~ Elena Ruiz

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽 There is a distinct ritual to loading a fresh roll of film. You pull the canister out of its box, slot it into the camera body, draw the leader across, and advance the lever until everything catches perfectly. Last night at work, I did exactly that with a fresh roll of Kodak Portra 400, eagerly preppy my trusty sidekick- my Minolta X-370 - for some test shots.

I lifted the camera to my eye, ready to compose a frame, and was met with absolute, unforgiving darkness.

If you ever shot with an analog SLR, you know that sudden pit-of-your-stomach feeling. The mirror is stuck. It is a common quirk with the Minolta X series, often down to aging electronics, a dead battery, or sticky old light-seal from that decides to grab hold of the mirror and never let go. It is incredibly hard to explain the mechanical failure in words to someone who doesn't shoot film, but looking through a lens and seeing total pitch-black tells you everything you need to know: the camera is down for the count.

To make matters more interesting, my "mini camera museum" at home is currently facing a bit of a mirror-issue epidemic. Thanks to my retail job, I have spent the last few years rescuing incredible digital and analog cameras that people brought in to be recycled. Among my favorite rescues are a Nikon FA and a Nikon FM2. Both are absolute masterpieces of analog engineering, and both are suffering from similar mirror malfunctions.

Right now, I am sitting on a beautiful collection of broken history. I don't even have any lenses for the Nikons yet - through my Minolta is well-loved with a 50mm and a 70-210mm f/4 MD Zoom lens ready to go.

It would be easy to immediately hop online, hunt down a specialty repair shop that regularly services the Minolta X-370 and ship my cameras off to be fixed. But real life has a way of demanding our energy behind the scenes. Before I can set aside a dedicated budget to get my trusty sidekick breathing again, I have a few real-world mountains to climb. There is spring cleaning to finish around the apartment, extending bills that to be paid in full, and the endlessly fun adult tasks of hiring someone to handle a few home repairs.

The cameras will have to wait their turn.

But that doesn't mean I am not pre-gaming for the day they are fixed. I already have the blueprint mapped out. I know exactly what I want to do: drop my film off at B&H to be developed, get those classic contact sheets per roll, and even get the scans put onto a CD - even if it means buying an external CD drive since modern laptops completely ignore them now! Down the line, the ultimate dream is to pick up an Epson Perfection V850 Pro Scanner so I can take full creative control and scan my own negatives at home.

For now, my Minolta X-370, Nikon FA, and Nikon FM2 will sit safely on display. They are a reminder of what has been saved from the scrap heap, and a promise of the creative projects waiting for me just on the other side of my to-do list.

Have you ever had to put away your gear photography goals on holed for real-life priorities? How do you handle it when your favorite camera suddenly goes dark? Let me know in the comments!

I'm letting everyone know now what's been going on with my camera, and I know I have several point and shoot cameras that customers brought in for recycle. I can't say for sure if people are unaware that there are places that can repair analog cameras because almost everyone are using digital cameras nowadays. It's because it's convenient to use and there's that instant gratification that comes along with digital photography, but film is different with intention. If you're reading this and are from the New York City area, just know there are locations that repair analog cameras and my best advice is to you is do your research on what places repair film cameras. Before you make that trip to the store, ask questions, and I know not everyone has the time or energy to send emails, but I think it's better to be safe than sorry in case the staff tells you something different story or give you different prices. Feel free to ask questions prior to making that visit to the camera repair shops and take a picture of the camera so the tech person would have a general idea on what they're working against and be able to pre-game on their end. Until further notice, my Minolta X-370 is currently out of service until I'm in a better place financially or wait until I do my taxes in February 2027 through the Food Bank for New York City so I can bring my three cameras to be repaired until I'm able to fully shop around for lenses for both Nikon cameras. I will be back with my camera fully repaired and be able to attend the next B&H Bild Expo held at the Javits Center next year. If I'm still at my retail job, I'm seriously calling out or putting in my PTO for the days I'll be at the Expo.

Blessed be,

Jennifer

Capturing the Moment: Why We Celebrate World Photography Day

"Photography has been my way of bearing witness to the joy I find in seeing the extraordinary in ordinary." ~ Harold Feinstein

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️ I hope all is well on this lovely day wherever you are in the world! Since today is World Photography Day and this year's theme is "Home." Focusing on comfort, connection, family, and a sense of belonging. Useless trivia time, did you know that the broader period also marks an ongoing celebration of nearly 200 years of photography since the first permanent images were created in the late 1820s? August 19, making the 1839 date when the French government released the daguerreotype photographic process patent as a free gift to the world. There is also World Photography Week as well that runs from August 12 through August 26, 2026, encouraging creators to share images and stories using hashtags like #WorldPhotographyDay; and #WorldPhotographyWeek. I know I haven't been very active with going on my photography walks and there is so much going on in my personal life in the past month, but I won't openly discuss it on here but it's nothing negative or dangerous. Anyway, I have a lot of spring cleaning to do around the apartment, and I honestly do not know how often I will be actively keeping up with blogging after today.

"Only photograph what you love." ~ Tim Walker

Since today is World Photography Day, I'm feeling all giddy and happy that I get to geek out with my fellow photographers today and for as long as I'm able to do all things photography. For anyone who isn't into photography, I don't want to bore you with photography, and feel free to read my other non-photography blogs as you can circle back to future blogs. I feel like I could have better planned World Photography Day but for the time being, I just want to gradually bring rolls of 35mm film to B&H: Photo to be developed and scanned with contact sheets and a CD. I'm fully aware that no one uses CDs anymore. I do have a flash drive, and I can eventually save for a Epson Perfection V850 Pro Scanner so I can scan all the negatives and save them to my flash drive so I wouldn't have to spend more than what I have to if it's not too weird to say. It wouldn't make sense to go to LaGuardia Community College [CUNY] just to use their photo lab and use their scanner to scan negatives just to save these images to my flash drive, makes zero sense when I can simply scan in the comfort of my own home. It's unnecessary to have so many flash drives laying around for each time I drop film off at B&H, and if I were still attending LaGuardia Community College for Photography, AAS, I would be in the photo lab scanning all of my negatives so I can photoshop them at a later time once I learn photoshop. I feel way more excited, animated, and alive about photography than I ever will be regarding my current customer service job in retail since there is zero growth for me to flourish and learn, and I am freaking bored as fuck with my retail job as we speak. (Just wait until the day I finally quit my retail job of seven years, four months and roughly twenty-one days, and leave them all in the rearview mirror permanently! Don't beg me to stay because I deserve better than having more days of wanting to call out than to show up for these clowns and customers who have no respect for those who work in customer service since I don't get paid enough to deal with this level of nonsense. If you're having a bad day, please stay your butt at home until you're mentally and emotionally regulated before going to any business establishment because we do not need your level of verbal abuse since we don't get paid enough to deal with your attitude and verbal abuse! I feel it is time for me to spread my wings and pursue other important things in life that will pay bills since my part-time customer service job barely pays the maintenance bill monthly but I'm barely getting by with my customer service job. I do feel that my current job is only good for those who are in their 20s and in college while still living at home with their parents/family; if you have zero dreams and aspiration to do better for yourself regardless of age because you are never "too old" to go back to college and better yourself or if you're looking to come out of retirement which is very understandable.)

"I didn't choose photography, photography chose me." ~ Gerardo Suter

When I'm behind the camera, I feel more at home, and at ease. When I see people shoot film, whether if it's 35mm or 120mm film, it makes me smile and happy. People are generally surprised when I mention film and I get asked this a lot, "Film still exist?" "Where do you develop your film?" "Where do you buy film?" General questions like that and my main go to photography spot is B&H in Midtown Manhattan, not far from Madison Square Garden. I feel like a kid and to me, B&H is the equivalent to Toys "R" Us to children but for photographers or for those creating music, podcasts, or movies. B&H is my main go-to spot but when they're closed for Jewish holidays, I go to K&M Camera and they're not as big as B&H, but I would say K&M Camera is more of a mom-and-pop kind of store. Since I currently do not have my driver's license or a car, going to Long Island other the convenience of going to Green Acres Mall in Valley Stream is pretty much out of the question for me and Manhattan is my main option. Unfortunately, Bushwick Community Darkroom closed its doors on June 30, 2026, and unfortunately, I have not visited that location yet. It was on my list of places to check out in the upcoming weeks. I know there are other locations where you can utilize what they have. However, if you are a student at LaGuardia Community College or Queensborough Community College [CUNY] or wherever you are currently studying, they have their own darkroom to current students who are currently studying photography either as a hobby or as a career or simply to brush up on anything new since the last time you were a student in college. I'd have to look into where you can develop your own rolls of film. I'm not entirely sure if you're able to develop color film but I know black and white film, definitely yes, you can develop your own film. I'd have to look into where you can develop your film since Bushwick Community Darkroom is permanently closed and I'm not sure what the future will hold for them whether if they find a new physical location where fellow photographers can come together and feel at "home."

A Quick Look Back

Photography has come a long way since the 1800s, when pioneers like Nicephore Nicepce and Louis Daguerre captured the first permanent images. What started as a complex, chemical-heavy science in a darkroom is now an art form carried in billions of pockets around the world.

Yet, the core goal remains identical: connection.

What Photography Teaches Us

Taking pictures is not just about pressing a button. It teaches us important skills that change how we move through the world:

• Patience: Waiting for the right light or the perfect subject to step into the frame.
• Presence: Noticing small details - like shadows on a wall or a bird on a branch - that others walk right past.
• Storytelling: Sharing a unique perspective of people, nature, or your own hometown.

How to Celebrate Today

You do not need fancy gear to join in. Try these simple ideas:

1. Put down the phone: If you have a dedicated camera, dust it off and take it for a one-hour walk.
2. Shoot your everyday: Take three artistic photos inside your own home. Look for unique angles or morning light.
3. Share your story: Post your favorite recent photo online and tell the story of why you took it, not just how it looks.

How are you celebrating your love for photography today? Grab your camera, look around, and go capture something real!

Blessed be,

Jennifer

Elevate Your Journey: Our Spiritual Services & Pricing Menu

"Keep your feet on the ground, but let your heart soar as high as it will. Refuse to be average or to surrender to the chill of your spiritual environment." ~ Arthur Helps

Welcome, beautiful souls. I am thrilled to connect with you here in the vibrant and diverse borough of Queens, NY. Today, I want to talk about something incredibly near and dear to my heart: the profound energy of candle work and spirit offerings.

In our daily lives, we often face overwhelming hurdles - whether it's fighting for a fair outcome in a Court Case, ensuring Child Support is resolved in your favor, or simply trying to Find Work in a competitive city. Spiritual work offers us a way to lean on higher energies to help balance the scales.

What goes into your candle work?

When you request a candle service, you aren't just buying a candle. You are investing in a dedicated spiritual process. Each 7-day pillar candle is fixed with specific herbs, dressed with conjure oils, and inscribed with your exact petitions. Depending on your needs, we may petition the Archangels for healing or work directly with Santa Muerte (La Santisima Muerte) for fast, tangible protection and justice.

Spirit Offerings & Altars

Whether you are building wealth, seeking love, or needing a spiritual shield, offerings are the language of spirit. By placing offerings such as fresh water, sigils, and incense on a dedicated altar, we open the doorways for these entities to assist in your physical reality.

If you are a local to Queens and need physical supplies, I always recommend supporting local spiritual shops like Botanica La Fe for your everyday herbs and candles. However, if you are looking for guided, customized altar and candle work. Contact Me today to schedule your reading and determine the perfect spiritual work for your situation.

Spiritual Services & Pricing Menu

Tarot & Oracle Readings

(Conducted via Phone, WhatsApp, or Zoom)

• 15-Minute Mini Reading (1 specific question or general check-in) - $25
• 30-Minute In-Depth Reading (Comprehensive overview of your situation) - $45
• 60-Minute Spiritual Consultation (Detailed spread + spirit guide messages) - $80

Altar & Candle Work

(Includes setting, dressing, and petitioning with daily photo updates)

• Standard 7-Day Devotional Candle (Protection, Health, Attraction, or Abundance) - $35
• Find Work / Employment Petition - $50
• Court Cases & Legal Matters: (Includes Archangel Michael petition for justice) - $65
• Child Support & Mediation Work: - $75
• Santa Muerte 9-Day Devotion (for deep protection, unblocking, and wealth) - $111

Offerings to Spirits & Archangels

Archangel Candle Offering & Petition (For guidance, healing, or swift intervention) - $40

Santa Muerte Altar Offering (Includes tequila, cigars, flowers, and fruit petition) - $55

Custom Entity / Spirit Work (Contact me for a consultation) - Starting at $88.

How to Book & Pay

1. Send payment via $ScorpionImages on Cash App or @ScorpionImages on Venmo.
2. Email or text your name, date of birth, and your specific petition or question.
3. You will receive a booking confirmation and a scheduled time for your session or altar initiation.

Note: Pricing for spiritual work is an energetic exchange. It is standard practice to factor in the physical materials (herbs, oils, high-quality candles), ongoing overhead, and the practitioner's time and energetic investment.

(Disclaimer: Spiritual services are for guidance purposes. I do not guarantee legal outcomes or medical cures.)

Blessed be,

Jennifer

My Tubal Ligation: Two Years Later and Still the Best Decision Ever

"It was just a weight lifted off my shoulders that I'm not ever going to get pregnant now. That's just been my nightmare since I was a teenager." ~ A patient sharing her experience with Today

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️ It's been two years since I've had my tubes tied and I have zero regrets on my personal decision to have my tubes tied. Although I honestly wish I had done it years ago since I never had that maternal desire to start a family of my own. I can't change the past but if I could have done things differently, I would have gotten health insurance and had my tubes tied which is my biggest regret of not doing this much sooner. Don't get me wrong, I like children and not everyone wants children just because naturally was born with a uterus and a vagina simply does not mean you want children just to squeeze yourself what society expects from every individual. If I could trade places with another woman who suffers from infertility issues, I would totally trade places with her on any given day without even thinking twice about it because it makes me internally smile knowing that her wish is being fulfilled of having a family without having to spend thousands of dollars on IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) treatments. I personally feel it's money you could use for your first home between the amount of money spent on IVF treatments to the medications the doctors prescribe their patients to those eighteen years of caring and taking care of a child. If having a family makes you very happy, I'm happy that you're happy. Again, if I could trade places with you, I would do it in a blink of an eye so I can pursue my own dreams all without having children slowing me down in any kind of way and making me feel a certain type of way that my dreams, hope for a better future, aspiration, having a college degree and having an actual career as a photographer won't feel as short lived before I'm ready to retire. Or feeling like my dream of a better life living child free, having a college degree, having a career, and wanting to travel the world on my own terms won't feel like it sadly ended at age 26. I wonder what my life would have been like had I gotten my tubes tied ages ago and I feel like my life would have turned out very different had my tubes been tied. I would not be in this predicament if I had gotten my tubes tied a long time ago because I know what my situation is, even if you're one of those who will ask, "What if you change your mind?" Or "What if you meet the right guy?" Questions like that, I'm going to keep all ten of my ten toes firmly on the ground and say this with my whole chest, just because it's expected for all women to pop out one baby after another does not or should not apply to all women because not everyone desires the idea of life as parents. I feel not everyone likes children or have that natural maternal desire to even have children which is perfectly fine by me, to each their own.

"Those of us who are childfree will never have the life experience of being a parent. Even for those who very much wanted to have children, but by chance or biology could not, there is no reason to not find purpose and fantastic enjoyment in life." ~ Ellen L. Walker

I have no regrets on having my tubes tied two years ago and I feel it's the best decision of my life but again, I just wish I had done this at age twenty. If I had done that, I feel that I would not be where I am at in life, I could have gone my way, and my son's father could have gone his own way. I would be doing my own thing as a photographer, and I wouldn't feel like my own life ended as I became a mom at age 26 through rape. I've always experienced irregular menstrual cycles over the years, and I wonder if that's what messed me up. All in all, I hold no regrets of having my tubes tied for the last twenty-four months. I don't know I do feel guilty for being healthy enough to have children while there are people out there who suffer from infertility which is why I would love to trade places with them on any given day. Having children is not for the faint of heart and unfortunately, there is no return policy on children after thirty days so to speak. Have that hard but honest and uncomfortable conversation with yourself before you lay in bed with anyone on where you're at in life. If you know for sure you are not ready for children, have that uncomfortable conversation with yourself because it is at the end of the day a commitment raising a child in this economy along with the sacrifices that comes along with raising a child [unfortunately]. If you for sure you aren't ready to have children, do what you have to protect yourself first and not be in an unpleasant predicament like I am regretting not getting your tubes tied ages ago. If you feel that being childfree is the best way to go, protect yourself now and you can't go wrong! It's been two years since I've had my tubes tied, I haven't had any common symptoms such as heavier, lighter, or irregular periods, and worse cramps. I've always experienced irregular menstrual cycles which is nothing new to me. Every woman's body is built different where their bodies change after they've had their tubes tied. So far, all is good on my end and as long as I maintain a healthy diet and exercise.

Blessed be,

Jennifer

Beyond The Stars: A Father's Day Blog

"Dad, wherever you are, you are gone but you will never be forgotten." ~ Conrad Hall

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️ Father's Day is a complicated milestone for many of us. For decades, the holiday has held up a mirror to a void in my life, forcing me to confront a relationship that was defined more by silence than by presence.

I didn't meet my biological father, Dionisio, until August of 1993. I was ten years old, standing in the middle of my sister's Sweet Sixteen, meeting a man who should have been there all along. From that moment on, he was in and out of my life like a ghost.

During junior high, I remember standing in the card aisle, carefully picking out birthday cards to send to him. I wanted to connect. I wanted a dad. But the mailbox remained empty on my own birthdays. He never sent a single card. People often underestimate how deeply that specific rejection cuts. A text message is easy, but there is a distinct comfort in knowing someone took the time to walk into a store, look through a rack, and choose a card just for you. I never got that from him, though I still hold onto the few Christmas cards he did send, tangible proof that he existed in my world, however briefly.

By 2011, the silence won. We lost touch. Three years later, in 2014, he passed away from a brain aneurysm.

When he died, the tears I shed weren't born of traditional grief. They were fueled by a volatile mix of anger, rejection, and abandonment. Now, with the perspective of time, a quiet regret creeps in. I sometimes wish I had reached out during those final three years. I wish I had more photographs to look back on. I find myself trapped in those painful, familiar questions that children of absent parents know all too well: If I had been born a boy, would he have stayed? Was I just not enough?

The trauma of his absence ran so deep that I decided early on I never wanted to be a mother. I was terrified of passing that generational pain down to a child. But life rarely follows our scripts. At age 26, a horrific assault resulted in an unplanned pregnancy.

Today, I am the mother of a wonderful son who is on the autism spectrum. He is verbal, functional, and the center of my world. Yet, history has a cruel way of echoing. Watching my son grow up without a father figure is a unique, sharp pain. It is the exact reality I fought so hard to avoid repeating.

This Father's Day, I am choosing to be honest about where I am. I am not completely from Dionisio's absence, either before or after his death. It is going to take a long time to sort through the layers of what was, what wasn't, and what could have been.

To anyone else navigating a complicated, painful, or empty Father's Day: your anger is valid. Your regret is valid. You are allowed to mourn the father had while fiercely protecting the child you are raising alone. Healing doesn't have a deadline.

Happy Father's Day.

Blessed be,

Jennifer

Shutter Therapy: My Minolta Returns

"Film forces you to be deliberate. There's no spray and pray - just patience and presence." ~ Nina Patel, film photographer

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️ Before I attended this career fair at HRA Business Link in Lower Manhattan today and I decided to dust off my Minolta X-370 since I hadn't used my camera in a long time. Last time I used my Minolta X-370 was in 2021, the shutter had stopped working on me while I was on my photography walk in 2021, and I was more concerned about the cost to repair the shutter since I'm on a budget. If you're a film photographer with a full-time position, it helps being able to fund your film photography hobby or career. Part-time employment is alright but not the best but not the worse and it would sure as hell help having a full-time job after you're caught up with your expenses (bills), splurge on film. I was very giddy when the camera began working again and I gathered my camera, zoom lens, and Kodak Portra 400. You don't know how I've missed going on my photography walks and I'm very much looking forward to going on future photography walks over the summer. I still have film left over since my cousin's wedding and I'm still feeling giddy in a childlike way! I still need to stop by at B&H for the Japan Camera Hunter 35mm Film Hard Case, the one that holds ten rolls of film at a time or I may order Evergreen 35mm Film Storage Case | Holds 18 Rolls | Preserve and Protect Your Film | Waterproof, Crushproof, & Freezer-Safe from Amazon. Although it may make sense to purchase the case from Amazon, just saying and I highly doubt I will shoot all eighteen rolls of film within a single day but at the same time, it may make sense to purchase film that holds ten rolls of film. If I do order the one from Amazon, that case will just remain at home for any film that I've used during my photography walks. Next roll of Black and White film I'm looking to shoot is CineStill BwXX Double-X Black and White Negative Film | 35mm, ISO 250, 36 Exp. If I were still with the Parks Department since it is a full-time position with a guaranteed forty hours per week in comparison to working eight hours per week at my retail job which will remain nameless and I'd be able to drop the film off at B&H to develop the 29 or so rolls of film when it's more in my budget. I'm ready to rock and roll hitting the ground running with the intention of going on my photography walks! However, I'm aware that my wallet doesn't agree with dropping film off at B&H and I'm not sure when I'm able to drop off the film off at B&H. For the moment, the rolls of film will have to sit in the refrigerator until I'm ready to head to B&H. I hope it's soon!

"There's no instant gratification in film photography - only lasting joy." ~ Tina Rayburn

There is one roll of film I purchased at B&H just before Halloween (the day before) of 2023 that I haven't used yet, and it's been sitting in the fridge for nearly three years. I knew I had a roll of Kentmere Pan 400 Black and White Negative Film in the fridge but then at the same time, I kinda forgot about it since I still had the sales receipt wrapped around the film. I do need to go out by day while my son is in school and shoot (film). It'll be a challenge as the MTA had retired the MetroCards on New Year's Eve of 2025 (I still disagree with the MTA's poor decision to unfortunately retire the MetroCards when at a time MetroCards worked out in certain people's favor such as mine because it gave a handful of us the ability to do more and get more done without having to be a slave to the idea of refilling our OMNY cards weekly instead of giving us the freedom to do more if we still had the monthly pass without talking out of my ass as a direct way of doing things but that's just my opinion at the end of the day). I'm still exploring different types of 35mm film and in a world of digital photography, nothing compares to film. Everyone may have an opinion of photography, and which is better. Yes, it is cheaper (cost effective) to shoot digital versus using film where it drains your wallet per film and where you drop your film off, but it is cost effective if you have your own darkroom at home. My only knowledge of developing film is black and white film. I do miss being in the darkroom developing my own film or working on prints with my Ilford paper. I miss being in the dark room and how therapeutic it truly is. If I could turn my bedroom into a dark room, I definitely would in a heartbeat without a second thought! As long as I have my Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts drink on hand but hold the ice. I need my therapeutic fix of going on photography walks solo and spending time in the dark room, you may never see me, ever.

"I never know if I've got the shot until days later. That's what makes it thrilling." ~ Sam Yu

For those who are old enough to know about film photography and yes, film still exist in the world. Yes, there are places that still develop and sell film. Just do your own research and heck, even Amazon sells film, so you're not limited to your local photography store near you. Here in New York City, I will recommend three photography stores, whether if you're from out of town or visiting the New York City area or whatever your situation is, there's B&H Photo, Video Digital Cameras, Photography, Computers which is my main go to store by the way, Adorama, and K&M Camera. Nonetheless, be mindful for when B&H and Adorama are closed for Jewish holidays and early store closing. I'm very much looking forward to going on future photography walks in the unforeseeable future for as long as my camera cooperates! At the end of the day, I am very much looking forward to seeing how the pictures came out once when I drop off the film to be developed at B&H and I'll be sure to find a way to scan, save and upload to Flicker (not sure exactly when). I currently do not own a scanner and I'm not sure when I'm able to find time to use the scanner at LaGuardia Community College in the photography lab. I'm still planning on going back to college to earn an associate's degree in Commercial Photography or I may end up doing Commercial Photography Certificate.

"The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you." ~ B.B. King

Since I haven't completed my studies at LaGuardia Community College, I still have positive intentions of going back to college and earn my associate's degree in photography. I have my own personal goals before going back to school and I'm looking to pay off an existing student loan from when I was a student at TCI: College of Technology before they had closed down on September 01, 2017. Feel free to jump down the rabbit hole on why the college closed down. In time, I will make it into a reality of graduating from LaGuardia Community College with an associate's degree and not sure as of now whether if I'm looking to earn my bachelor's degree, we shall see when the time comes! I don't want to rush into anything, and I personally would feel it would be a waste of money if I'm not going to follow through (not throw or threw since a majority of you confuse the two words when you're using them in a text message, yes, they sound similar but they have different spellings and different definitions of each word, a little grammar knowledge for the ones who weren't paying any attention in English class during your formative years in school when it comes to proper grammar usage and I am trying to save you from pure embarrassment and humiliation for your lack of proper grammar) on going for a bachelorette degree but it is something I am taking into light consideration since I'm not anywhere near completing my studies at LaGuardia Community College. My time will soon arrive to officially decide what my next move will be. As the saying goes, reading is fundamental and it does help you become a better writer! Let that sink in because the more books you read, the better of a writer you will become and even if you're one of those people that hate reading books. I'm a prolific reader since elementary school with those free Pizza Hut rewards when I was younger. For the time being, I need to focus more on my health during this time and knock out these upcoming medical appointments, specifically dental! I'm not certain if it's a suspected root canal or a possible infection on my right side of my jaw which feels very uncomfortable yet swollen and especially when I'm looking forward to my beauty sleep at night.

I've had my Minolta X-370 since the spring semester of 2013, and this is my baby! Be well, stay hydrated, and be safe out there.

Blessed be,

Jennifer

When He Doesn't Show Up: Realizing Your Worth After Being Flaked On

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." ~ Mark Twain

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️ Not for nothing without putting my business out there, I recently met this guy, Wilfred on May 06, 2026, near Citi Field and we exchanged numbers. We were supposed to meet on May 17, 2026 at Starbucks in Union Square and I was the only one who showed up. I should have responded much differently by saying: "It was nice knowing you! Thanks for the ghosting experience - at least I know not to hold my breath next time. Best of luck out there!" or my other response would have been: "Thanks for standing me up! 🚩 Just a heads up, if the shoe was on the other foot and I did this to you, my phone would be blowing up with angry texts right now. 🙄" or the third response would have been: "Thanks for standing me up today. If you're an adult, you need to communicate plan changes earlier in the day. I deserve better than the silent treatment, especially when I could have been home spending time with my son. I know you've read my WhatsApp messages. If you don't like my communication style, feel free to permanently delete my number and never contact me again." Then Wilfred decides to hit me up the next day without apologizing for what happened the day before, and his sad excuse was he fell asleep which is bullshit (fuck you and your excuses). He also said, "Nice lips to kiss." I told him he missed his opportunity yesterday when I should have told him: "Reading my messages but choosing not to reply is a pretty weak excuse for standing me up yesterday. Don't act like you forgot what happened. If you want to make things right, step up and take accountability instead of playing games." Wilfred apologized by saying: "I'm so sorry" and I personally feel that he could have something along the lines of "I am so sorry I left you hanging last night" or "I know your time is valuable, and it was incredibly disrespectful of me to waste it." Instead of simply saying "We can go out" which sounds so fucking lame and yet generic at the same time. If he truly wants to take me out or whatever the fuck than he would or should say "I'd love to make it up to you by taking you out to dinner this weekend. Let me know what day and restaurant work best for you." and follow up by saying "I'm actively working on my time management, and I promise I will communicate much better in the future so this doesn't happen again." which is respectable if you think about it. If you're unable to meet, articulate that you're unable to make it earlier in the day so I'm not left hanging (just saying). I have included a picture of Wilfred and screenshots of our conversation we've had (I used this template on Instagram to set up the dialogue). I feel like if I were to give him a second chance to make things right, I'm sure it'll be a slim chance of him showing up and since he stood me up once, than chances are, he will be most likely to stand me multiple times. Part of me wants to give him a second chance out of curiosity and see if he'll keep his word by showing up. If not, it's best for us to distance ourselves from each other so we're not going back and forth on this situation going forward if he's serious about wanting to be with me. If he stands me up second time, I feel I've set myself up for disappointment when I deserve better and I'm not going to disrupt my mental health over this dude! There are plenty of guys out there that I can date whether he likes it or not since he's not paying my phone bill. If he genuinely doesn't like it, oh well, boo-hoo and go cry to your momma and tell her on how I broke your unhealed heart of yours. (*Note the sarcasm!*) All I have to say is I don't mind taking myself to a nail salon for some self-care, buy myself flowers, hold my own hand and what I am trying to say is I am a fan of Miley Cyrus' song titled: Flowers! Not to throw shade at him or this other guy who first stood me up ten months ago as well. Hey, it's your loss, not mine because you're missing out on an amazing person like me! 🤷🏽‍♀️ Some of you guys don't know how to communicate properly in a mature situation and if something comes up in advance, I completely understand if you're exhausted or whatever the situation may be because I could've made other arrangements to accommodate the plans we could've had and I would have had much more respect for you to speak up early on versus at the last minute or whatever the fuck. Don't get angry at me for even trying to communicate like a mature person should in their own right! Sit there and act like a child for all I care. I wouldn't be surprised if some of you will say this blog is completely uncalled for and I'm letting you women know in advance of guys like Wilfred and Joseph who recently stood me up.

"A second chance doesn't mean anything if you didn't learn from your first." ~ Anurag Prakash Ray

I honestly would give Wilfred a second chance, however, I don't know or rather I doubt I should trust him going forward and if this happened once, I am 100% certain this may occur again and again from him to the point I'd have to treat him like a child when I shouldn't fucking have to! If he cannot respect people's time and energy, he should absolutely remain single for the rest of his life because I feel people will feel that he isn't worthy of love and attention if he can't be mature enough to communicate with me or anyone else for that matter. We've only met once, he mentions he wants me and he can't stop thinking about me. He must tell other women this same story just to gas their heads up with lies and excuses just to get them in bed with him. I'm not buying into this narrative because I'm not incompetent. To say the least, I have to prioritize my health, making sure my son is taken care of first, and overall, I have to make sure everything at home is taken care of before I allow someone else into my life whether to make it better or worse case scenario, topsy-turvy. Topsy-turvy is something I can live without at this point in my life. Well, I highly doubt I will be seeing Wilfred any time soon. Nonetheless, if he genuinely wants me to give someone like him a second chance, and I will respond with this: I'm open to seeing if things can work, but I need to protect my peace and time. If you genuinely want this to work out, I need you to tell me three concrete reasons why I should give you a second chance. Going forward, what exact steps will you take to hold yourself accountable and ensure you don't stand me up when we make plans?

Here is a picture of Wilfred and the screenshots of our conversation the day after he stood me up on May 17, 2026! 🤔 I would give him a second chance but to what's extent without feeling like I have wasted my time and energy by giving him a second chance. I don't feel attracted to him and I'm already disappointed with his first impression of not showing up as he should. Well, it's his own loss for not showing up! 🤷🏽‍♀️ I would've added several screenshots of the conversation but didn't want people to get confused with what was being said [for those who are curious]. Part of me wants to give him a second chance just to see if he keeps his word and maybe I should string him along just to play games with him as he's doing with me!

Blessed be,

Jennifer