Toast To the New Year

"New year - a new chapter, new verse, or the same old story? Ultimately we write it. The choice is ours." ~ Alex Morritt

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️ Wow, this year is already come and now we're entering a new year. I do want to keep my New Year's Resolutions [refer to Let's Make The New Year Magical blog] but keep it for the upcoming year and will continue to focus on my health and working on being happy, even if it means being single. Yet, I really need to be less critical of myself in a negative way and learn to love myself first so I can positively radiate light from the inside out, every angle possible. Go on dates, regardless of what my mother says and no, I haven't sat down in conversation with her asking her what her thoughts would be in regards of me having a genuine love life because I feel I deserve it. What is my mother going to do to me? What, is she going to call the police on me just because I feel that I deserve a love life? Don't expect me to bring any guy home because what the chances of my mother stealing my future boyfriend just because she doesn't want to get up off her lazy ass and find her own boyfriend and go on dates that are age appropriate? Not the point, I'd have to stop punishing the next guy just because of my son's father put me through and don't get me wrong, I was 26 years old when I got pregnant out of rape, and I was going to put my son up for adoption because I felt I wasn't ready for motherhood since I had other plans I wanted to accomplish before settling down, getting married with a slight possibility of motherhood (depending on where I was at in life at the time), baby daddy's excuse on why he wasn't around was because I wanted to put my son up for adoption! I do want to go on dates, finally be happy for as long as possible with the person I'm with because I deserve it.

"Celebrate endings - for they precede new beginnings." ~ Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm going to continue with my fitness journey for as long as possible. Once when I've paid down my three charge cards, which should be by the end of January and once when I've got my finances in order, I'm going to focus on saving up to get my root canal done and have a crown, so I join Planet Fitness in the upcoming months once when I've taken care of the dental work that needs to be done. I already have days I want to go (Tuesday afternoon after work; Wednesday; Thursday afternoon after work; and Friday) since there are Free Fitness Training, for those interested in a Day pass at Planet Fitness, check out the link provided, and I'll do what I can to include Mondays at home once when I fire up my laptop for a full body workout, but it's not guaranteed since my mother is retired since August of 2019. 😒 [She doesn't have much of an active social life since most of her friends had relocated to other states outside of New York City, her day consists of either going to the store to get what she needs in the morning or when she has a doctor's appointment but other than that, when she doesn't need anything from the store, she stays home and watches television all day. I have made suggestions to her in regards of programs currently available at the Queens Public Library and as well as making suggestions of her going to Alley Pond Park for walks when Mother Nature is good to us, the impression I've gotten from her is a lack of interest and motivation. Even if she does go for walks, maybe, just maybe she'll find herself a love interest or age-appropriate friends in her own age group. However, I don't know what her problem is, perhaps she believes she's too good to keep herself occupied but she allegedly claims she's "afraid" she'll "fall off the bus" and I call bullshit]. Once when I've paid off my three charge cards and have the funds for a root canal and crown, I'll go for a gym membership in Fresh Meadows since it's not far from where I currently live. I'm going to continue with yoga for my own mental health so I'm not feeling overwhelmed when there is no need to feel that way. I need to do better in regards of health and happiness. I have this mentality and the need to make others happy first before I even make myself happy. I have that survival mentality that I've had for so long that I don't know how to let go of that survival mentality. Again, I should incorporate other workouts such as VICTORIA'S SECRET FULL BODY WORKOUT | 20 MINUTES on the mat. I also want to add WEEK 1 - 2024 WINTER WORKOUT CHALLENGE and among other fitness challenges from this particular YouTube channel. When I get to 150 pounds (halfway point), I want to get a lotus tattoo on my left wrist with Just Breathe or Breathe tatted underneath of a lotus tattoo. There is a spiritual reason why I've chosen a lotus tattoo, but I don't feel it's appropriate for this blog, well, look at the world we currently live in, we live in a world of ugly and there's always that one beautiful soul that outshines that others don't have or lack that "shine" and resilience that some people have. That's my reason why I want to get a tattoo of a lotus. My goal is when I get to my goal weight of 125 pounds, my intention is to buy at least two or three outfits from Trash & Vaudeville and here's an article in regards of Trash & Vaudeville: Jimmy Webb, Trash and Vaudeville's Beloved Punk, Dies at 62. I intend on doing a better job in taking care of myself through dieting; exercise; and getting enough rest when needed so I can remain healthy and happy. If I don't take care of myself now, how can I take care of my fourteen-year-old son if I am not in the best of health? Furthermore, I do feel it's imperative to take care of yourself first before you take on additional responsibilities of caring for others (I don't give a fuck how old you are)!

"I hope that in this new year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're doing something." ~ Neil Gaiman

To end this blog, I want to do more, little by little and I want to split my time between work; home; and motherhood so I can do age-appropriate things with people in my own age group. There are moments I feel overwhelmed, and I don't know how to communicate I feel in a vocal kind of way. Communication is something I need to work on so I can say how I feel and mean it. Yet, it's so much easier for me to write about it on paper than it is for me to speak about it on paper than it is for me to speak about what I'm feeling, and I'll keep those feelings to myself until I write in my regular handwritten journal. I don't expect people to understand but it's all good. There are things I truly want to focus on, such as focusing more on my health; love life or rather have a love interest but something along those lines as well as having an active social life with age-appropriate people; focus more on myself so I don't lose myself in the process; as well as focusing on saving for a place to call my own and even if this means working two or three jobs just to save up for a place to call my own. Even saving up for a school bus, renovate the school bus so I can travel and go cross country, I'm sure by the time I'm financially established enough to buy a school bus, it should roughly be around when my son graduates from high school. I'm not going to go too crazy in listing many articles and/or videos from YouTube land. Here you go to view at your own leisure: Skoolie Life What to Consider Before Living in A School Bus; Skoolie vs RV; I'll be Surprised If You're Not Impressed with This Charter Bus Conversion; and College Student's Bus Conversion Is Nicer than most Apartments. I feel living off grid can benefit me on many levels, especially in an economical way. Who knows how long I'll be living on a school bus; it could be short term (roughly up to four to five years) or long term (indefinitely). I like the idea of living on a school bus is the idea of not having to owe rent to landlord each month. There are other things I want to work on, one of them is time management. I still need to speak up but in more of a diplomatic way without having to explain myself at all whatsoever when it should be self-explanatory for those with common sense and logic.

Blessed be,

Jennifer

Lets' Make The New Year Magical

"Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars, but remember to keep your feet on the ground." ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Good morning; afternoon; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namaste. Happy New Year. There are several things I hope to change up in the New Year and work towards my own personal goals, one of them saving up so I can eventually leave the New York City area [indefinitely]. I already know or rather I have an idea on where I'd want to relocate to but want to give myself roughly five and a half years from now to have my necessary resources together such as having money in my bank account for things such as furniture; the necessary appliances for the kitchen and the basic items for around the home then I'll hook up my place afterwards to the point it'll be way cooler than other people's homes. 🤔 I want to have a creative input into my home but will often sage my home after each time I have people over, especially soirées (just sounds fancier than saying party). Hopefully by then I should have my driver's license because I want to have that freedom of being able to come and go whenever I please since public transportation isn't anything like here in New York City (I've heard buses run every hour or so in other states outside of New York City such as Virginia or even in Buffalo) once when I leave NYC. Another goal I would like to work towards is to pay off an existing debt in hopes by mid to late April, if not, by mid to late May and once when I've paid off any existing debt, I'll begin save up for a place of my own which will take time and effort (blood, sweat, tears, dedication, and perseverance). Once when my existing debt is paid off, I'll check out real estate somewhere in New Mexico to have a general idea whether if New Mexico is someplace that is in my budget if it exists and I have my reasons why I've picked New Mexico instead of Las Vegas, Nevada; I don't need for my mother to call my sister, Gwen and have her "check up" on me just to make sure I'm "staying out of trouble." That's the scenario I've pictured in my mind as a result of me moving out and by all means, if my mother feels she "needs" assistance with paying maintenance, then let her get in contact with the "friend" whom she stole from me (gee, what's that chick's name again that currently resides in Atlanta, GA?), Nargiss and see if Nargiss would come back to New York to help her pay half the maintenance or get her stepson, Michael to help her. Oh right, we haven't seen or heard from him and his wife, Iryna since Michael's father's (Mark) death January of 2020. It doesn't bother me much any that the pedophile is no longer with us but karma is a bitch and no love lost there, I didn't even cry at my stepfathers funeral but just acted sad whenever people gave their condolences (I couldn't careless about that pedophile for the most part but I need to heal).

I already know what I want to purchase for when I finally move out and have to shop around for furniture but these are for the bedroom, not all of it. Just of things I hope to save up for once when I move out are: Freestanding Closet Black/Silver - Room Essentials; Corner Cube Bookshelf White - Room Essentials; Wisremt White Closet Shelf Divider Board, PP Durable Wardrobe Organizing Classification Compartments; Authnature Blessing Only Good May Enter Here Wiccan Blessing Wicca Prayer Protection Aluminum Weatherproof Metal Sign Custom Personalized Tin Sign Wall Decor Housewarming Gift 8X10 Inch; 2 Pieces Witch Bells Protection for Door Knob Hanger Wiccan Wind Chimes Witchy Things Clear Negative Energy Attracts Positive Witchcraft Wicca Supplies for Boho Home Room Decor; Witchy Wooden Box Sign Desk Decor 5x5 Inch It's a Sage Burning Crystal Collecting Tarot Reading Moon Admiring Kinda Girl Wood Block Box Sign Gothic Home Decor. Just to name a few and there will be plenty more as time goes on... Once when I move into my new residence, that is when I'll go out of my way to fix/decorate my new home the way I like it! 😁

In regards of fitness and nutrition, I want to get into doing more yoga as I've been doing a lot of as of late. I want to get into the vegan lifestyle because I want to get off Metformin and lead a healthier lifestyle. My goal is to (set aside from financial) get my weight down to 125 - 130 pounds and if it was in my budget, I'd hire a personal trainer. Who knows, I may open a fourth CD account for fitness purposes or possibility of liposuction and I realize it's very expensive in the thousands of dollars. Liposuction is my last resort. I hope to shop around for a blender so I can make smoothies from 10-Day Green Smoothie Cleanse by J.J Smith. I'm doing this for me and my health. As of late, I've been doing Rodney Yee's Yoga for Your Week and I love how I feel after I've done the A.M. Connection segment. This segment is generally roughly fifteen minutes long, however it's 8 minutes and twelve seconds long, that's YouTube for you! Other yoga DVD's I'll recommend are Element: Daily Yoga; Targeted Yoga; and Yoga for Belly, Butt & Thighs With Chrissy Carter. Of course, you're not going to hear of every yoga instructor which is fine but be opened minded. I do have another yoga DVD I have but never had the opportunity to check this DVD out, Element: Barre Conditioning and have to go to Best Buy for a new DVD player in the upcoming months when it's in my budget to buy a new DVD player.

"You don't have to feel guilty for cutting them off. It was the right thing to do. And believe me, if it were the other way around. They would have done the same thing too. Choose you, always you." ~ R.M Drake

Just being able to say no more often and not be afraid of the word no, even if it angers the individual. I am a people pleaser and I will yes people to death just to shut people up without actually meaning it. Plus, cut certain people out of my life permanently; even if it means going out of my way deleting your phone number off my contact list for good and I want to visually watch you delete my contact information along with all text messages (this includes all WhatsApp messages as well). I'm not dropping any names for this particular individual because I've already began the process of blocking this individual but will gradually delete all this person's messages. If you attempt of contacting me whatsoever, just know that all of your phone calls go to voicemail, just know that I've blocked you and it's for our own good!!! I've also had to block this other person, Joe, a guy whom I've met at Boost Mobile in August because this guy is purely incompetent and a laughing stock. This guy even threatened to send his homies and home girl to "jump" me and plus he's threatened to kidnap me! This guy is completely incompetent for someone who "claims" to have a high school diploma and a college degree. 🤣 This guy's writing skills is beyond atrocious and a lot (I mean a lot) of what this guy says makes zero sense when he writes. A two year-old can write better than this guy, Joe. From the times we've spoken over the phone, he sounds like he has a bunch of marbles in his mouth or either that he has a speech impediment making in difficult to understand what he's saying or he's just under the influence. Joe is not the most intelligent individual to even exist! Well, his mother should have had him aborted or swallowed him like they do in porn (just saying) and you can throw insults at him, he's just too incompetent to even know the difference between insults and compliments. I'm going to delete his number and block him as well. I have a high school diploma and only six semesters under my belt (three from TCI and three from LaGuardia Community College), I write properly all without a college degree! 🤣 There's another person whom I'd like to delete their phone number and all text messages (as well on WhatsApp) and block this individual from ever calling because I'm tired of this particular individual(s) constantly resorting to name calling causing me have flashbacks of my stepfather resorting to name calling (to both myself and my son) than turn around saying to look at the text messages but I will leave it at that with no questions asked. I'm tired of that childish behavior but I'm slowly getting to to my breaking point, that's it and good luck trying to convince me to remain in your life. I need to speak up and not stay shut for anyone, regardless of who you are (male or female) because I've had people take advantage of me in the past and I need to shut that down. Perhaps I'll have that satisfaction of shutting people down by not staying quiet. It's getting old of where I stay shut and allowing people to take advantage and walk all over me like a rug. That lifestyle is getting old and I've been told by many that I need to speak up. If you don't like it, if I had a dick, you can suck my dick and tell me what flavor. I'm at that point in my life that I've had enough of people's nonsense and one of these days I'm going to end up telling my own mother off because it's getting ridiculous with her behavior. I'm tired (mentally and emotionally) of dealing with her shit. Enough is enough and the day I move out, I want nothing to do with my own mother because she's a toxic person who chose her pedophile husband over me after I told her what happened and I'll never ever forgive her for that. Why should I forgive my own mother? For what? I'm not getting anything out of it. Yes, it hurts like hell but I'm constantly in that survival mode, 24/7/365 at all times. All in all, I wish you all the best, cheers mate! 🥂

Overall, I want to primarily focus on saving up so I can eventually leave New York City for a change of scenery because I'm doing this because I want to (by choice) and I'm doing this for me. If anyone have any problems with that, speak now or forever hold your tongue and I'll keep in touch with nine people and mostly family. Three people I'll no longer be on speaking terms with, this guy Joe; this other individual with narcissistic issues; and even my own mother but it would be great if she relocated to Las Vegas, Nevada and spend the rest of her life living with my sister and brother-in-law. If need be, I may as well just change my phone number so it would be impossible for my mother and this other individual to get my new contact information. Don't believe for a single moment that I'm playing anyone dirty because you want to believe whatever lies you're being fed at the moment and keep in mind that I am not playing anyone dirty and trust me, once when I cut you out of my life, there is absolutely no turning back but it was nice knowing you! There are so much I want to accomplish in the upcoming year and my first two goals is to improve my health by doing yoga on my days off from work and the second is to pay off any and all existing debt I have before I set up additional small personal goals for myself. I would love to go on many photography walks but have to find the time when I'm able to go on photography walks and a photography blog will be in the works. For now, small goals, baby steps before I mess myself up along the way and it's important for me to remain on track and focus on relaxing more. I do enjoy being outdoors more than being stuck indoors all day and if I had my own place, I'd have music playing all the time but will have one television set throughout the home so I can focus on my yoga.

"As important as it is to learn how to deal with different kinds of people, truly toxic people will never be worth your time and energy - and they take a lot of each. Toxic people create unnecessary complexity, strife, and, worst of all, stress." ~ Travis Bradberry

Yes, I fuck up a lot, still, Yes, I notice when you are turned off by something I say/do. Yes, I have also been ignorant, but I cannot continue to walk away form the rotten parts of my identity when you belittle the steps forward I make. I cannot improve when you don't actively help because you would rather bemoan me when I screw up.

In regards of leaving New York, don't think I'm doing this to "avoid" being around certain people and I'm doing this to get a breathe of fresh air away from New York City within the next five and a half years or so. I already have things somewhat planned out in my mind in hopes it'll work out in my favor which is my own personal goals. It's not going to be an easy journey on my end, unless I find a second job and just know that I'll always be around but I can't always evolve around you or your needs, you're a grown ass person with your own agenda and hobbies. If you feel that I "don't have time" for you, then please (please) cut me loose from your life if you truly feel that I don't have time for you and I have to make a living. If you're retired, please find yourself a companion within your own age group that is retired as well and can spend almost every waking minute with you because I feel like I can't give you what you truly want from me. It's best to find someone who can legitimately give you what you've always wanted because of what happened to me when I was nine! Yet, I'm not going to apologize for feeling that way and I don't need flashbacks of the experiences of what happened to me. I don't need grown ass people throwing temper tantrums just because I have to earn a living but I'm not going to apologize for any of it. I have to take care of both myself and my son whether if you like it or not (you jealous manipulative narcissistic asshole 😡). If it comes down to moving on with our lives, I personally feel it would be in our best interest to delete each other's contact information instead of blocking each other on WhatsApp, etc.  because I need to solely focus on my own personal goals for now and just know that I will always be that respectful and loyal friend that you've ever had in this life. Best not to fuck that up and especially if I've been way more honest than you'll ever be! Best of luck with everything in your life because I need to move on and will have to do something to spiritually cleanse myself from any negative spiritual attacks placed by you to keep me near and dear for your own selfish needs and desires. Again, best of luck to you.

My personal goals for the upcoming year:

• Focus all my attention and energy more on my own health before anyone and anything else. Such as eating healthier and continue on my yoga/fitness journey. My health comes first before any man, woman and child. Nonetheless, I don't give two shits about you, even though I do care but my health comes first. If I'm not in the best of health, than how can you expect me to spend time with you or go to work on the days I'm scheduled to work? 🤨
  
• Pay off any and all existing debt.
• Save up for a place of my own and set both short term and long term goals.
• Saying no more often and not be afraid of the word no.
• Cutting certain individuals out of my life for the sake of my own sanity so I can finally find my happy, whether if you're apart of my life or not but don't be a narcissistic asshole that you are (I'm not naming any names but I'll let you figure it out on your own). Even if it means deleting and blocking your contact info just to prevent you ever from contacting me ever [going forward].
• Go on more photography walks when time permits.
• Write more blogs, even if this means going to any Queens Public Library (Fresh Meadows or Windsor Park) or Starbucks down the block from where I live.
• Looking into schools such as Grace Institute, providing if they have lifted the vaccine mandate by the time I get around to checking out any upcoming open house event they have. If they've lifted the vaccine mandate, I'll take advantage of it while I still can! However, if the vaccine mandate is still in effect, I hope and pray that I get to use my religious exemption. Nonetheless, I'm open to taking the COVID weekly testing versus taking the arm ticket (vaccine).
  

Blessed be,

Jennifer

First Post of the Year!

"New Year's Day. A fresh start. A new chapter in life waiting to be written. New questions to be asked, embraced, and loved. Answers to be discovered and then lived in this transformative year of delight and self-discovery. Today carve out a quiet interlude for yourself in which to dream, pen in hand. Only dreams give birth to change." ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach.

Happy New Year Blogspot family!
 

I know it's been a moment since I've been on here and I hope to change all that by posting often than when I first began Blogspot. Things happened in the past year, let's see, I've gone to two funerals (back to back), gone on several dates, gone on more job interviews than landing a job at these locations and have been searching for employment in recent months but will take on any job possible that don't require having a Bachelor's Degree or higher, and I've been watching YouTube videos on various different topics such as school bus conversion, the Illuminati, Freemasons and as of late when Shit Hits the Fan, plus I've found a Bug Out Bag Checklist (fortunately I have kept my sling from when I had injured my clavicle in 2016) but have a website for your consideration (Uncharted Supply Co.) and found another website, Bug Out Academy. I've considered going to school for Forensic Autopsy Technician and any morbid job such as that holds fascination on my end. But will settle on minimum wage jobs for the moment until I've got my stuff put together. I've also been looking to adopt a camera for a hot minute but found one at Adorama and will come back when I have the money, hopefully they'll still have the three cameras in stock. The main YouTubers I've been watching are: Survival prepping for normal people, JonXArmy, A Call for An Uprising, Richie From Boston, Ryan Cropper, Shaman Oaks, I've recently started watching Chasidy Ryan, and Indigo Ray TV on YouTube.