Beyond the Camera: What I've Been Up To

"Sometimes the best thing to do is to take a step back and get a little bit of a different perspective and re-evaluate things." ~ Unknown

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️ It's been a while since I've written a blog about photography and things have been all over the place in recent months, specifically since November 2025, working two jobs but it's a conversation for another time and place. I had or still have my project on hold on wanting to self-publish a book on Blurb Books. I've originally began this as a class project for the spring semester of 2013, although I had already passed the class and it will mean the world to me if I complete this photography project. The first book will be in black and white, and the second book will be in color, but both will have the same concept of them being street photography. There may be a third book, but it'll mostly be a family themed book but let's see what happens with my first two projects and I'm feeling pretty hopeful but optimistic about finishing my first project. Once I finally am in a better position to have my Minolta X-370 repaired, it should be a green light, and I am very much looking forward to going on my photography walks as a form of self-care and therapy. As a single mom, I need time alone (though it's encouraged), and I can't be a mom 24/7/365 because there will be moments I need solitude to actively pursue my own hobbies and pour back into myself so I can be a better person to myself, a better friend, a better mom, a better cousin, and the list goes on. I need to do something that makes me happy for once since I'm temporarily stuck at a retail job that isn't doing me any type of justice but in some way, there's some form of gratification when it comes to assisting customers before I'm told to go back to what I was doing before being approached by customers with general questions. I guess you can say I'm more of a Janitor at my retail job and wait until the day I quit, I'll be celebrating but don't expect me to tell people at the bar that they're getting free drinks as Oprah Winfrey told her audience that they're getting a car. I have a full-time job that's better because I work forty hours per week and the hours are very much consistent in comparison to the eight hours a week at my retail job which is below part-time hours if you ask me!

"Following your genuine intellectual curiosity is better than following whatever makes money." ~ Naval Ravikant

I am hoping for this full-time job will be my ticket way out and not worry about how I'll make ends meet, however, I'm fully aware it may not be enough to fully pay or keep up with the monthly cost of living here in New York City. Anyway, I find photography to be very therapeutic and yes, granted not everyone finds photography to be therapeutic since we're all into different hobbies that we find therapy and joy in. I would love to get into photography but lack professional experience and I'm not fully sure if I'll need a college degree to show that I've completed my studies in photography. I don't want to say yes that you need a college degree just to work as a photographer. I don't know if it makes sense to think that way! Well, if I do decide to go back to LaGuardia Community College. For now, I still have a student loan from TCI and I'm looking to focus on that before I worry about anything else (such as any vacations or anything to do with socialization with my peers). I don't need people adding more to my plate when I'm already dealing with my own dilemma of having to pay down the maintenance that accumulated over the past year that haven't been kept up with after my mom had been in and out of North Shore University Hospital in Manhasset for falling.

"If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit." ~ Banksy

Aside from what's been going on, I've gone for a recent mammogram, and they've found an abnormality in my left breast. Overall, I feel fine and I know feeling "fine" may not mean anything. I don't want to miss work all because of an appointment at Queens Hospital, and I'm aware that my health is way more important than a paycheck. I currently work at Parks Department and it's a seasonal job for six months. I'm aware that I need to prioritize my health over any job, any relationship, or any friendship. I'm not saying they're all bad, but I feel they could and should take the back burner so to speak. It's something I'll leave as is without having to overly explain myself to people who barely have more than two brain cells.

Blessed be,

Jennifer

Navigating Life Through the Lens: My Story, My Peace

"There was the life you lived, which consisted of the choices you made. And then, there was the other life, the one that was the things you hadn't chosen." ~ Gabriell Zevin

Welcome to my corner of the internet. If you are new here, grab a coffee (or a tea), get comfortable, and let me properly introduce myself.

My Roots and My Heart

I am a child of a Panamanian Air Force father and a Chinese mother, born in Arizona but brought back to Queens as a baby. I grew up in Queens with my mother and grandparents, who immigrated to the U.S. shortly after WWII. That heritage has always been a quiet, grounding force in my life - even if I mostly just understand Cantonese rather than speak it!

I am a Scorpio/Sagittarius cusp, a proud aunt/sibling, and an introvert through and through. I am also proudly asexual, bisexual, and navigate life without strict pronouns, as that is what feels most authentic to my experiences and who I am.

I'm an introvert at heart. If you are trying to date me, know this: I require a lot of time and patience to warm up. I may seem completely uninterested at first, but it is just my way of protecting my energy while I figure out who is safe.

Today, my time is focused on healing and self-improvement. I'm prioritizing my health, spirituality, and fitness. I've been journaling since junior high, and I love getting lost in a good novel or listening to music. But my truest therapy is writing and photography.

Life as Therapy: Photography and Writing

I have been journaling since junior high school. Writing, much like photography, is my ultimate therapy. It allows me to channel my artistic way of looking at the world. My camera of choice is my trusty Minolta X-370. I love shooting on Ilford, Kodak Portra, and the occasional CineStill film. When I need supplies, B&H Photo Video is my go-to, though I always hit up K&M Camera when B&H and Adorama are closed for Jewish holidays.

Navigating Life's Chapters

My journey hasn't been easy. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and adult sexual assault. From those dark moments came my beautiful son, who is on the autism spectrum. I want to be open about something important: I never had a natural maternal desire for motherhood. Not everyone does, and that is a valid, okay truth to embrace.

Today, my time is dedicated to healing and self-discovery. I am heavily prioritizing my health, my spirituality, working out, reading novels, and listening to music. I also happen to be a firm believer in the paranormal! Because my older sister and I didn't grow up in the same home, our relationship has been estranged and awkward, but I am taking life one day at a time.

If You're Looking to Connect...

I am a firm non-believer in the institution of marriage, and when it comes to dating, I move at my own pace. If we ever cross paths, please know that it takes a lot of time and patience for me to warm up to you. I may not seem interested in the beginning, and that is okay. I require genuine patience.

I'm also gearing up to eventually return to LaGuardia Community College to finish my associate's degree when the timing feels right.

And if sports ever come up? While I'm not a huge sports fan, I will always represent the Yankees and the Diamondbacks.

Thank you for reading and for holding space for my story. I'm excited to share more of my photography, writing, and life journey with you all.

Blessed be,

Jennifer

The Humble Lensman

"Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever... It remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything." ~ Aaron Siskind

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namaste. It's been a hot minute since I've posted anything photography related and I'm sure I'm going to get plenty of weird looks from non-photographers on why many of us actual photographers actually place 35mm or 120mm film in the refrigerator or freezer. I don't care what anyone says and I find it annoying having to explain exactly why photographers keep film in the fridge. For now I have to take it easy and rest my knee since I have Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome, according to my orthopedic in Great Neck earlier this month. Don't ask how I've injured my knee and will go back to watching 'Birth of the Dragon' on Netflix shortly. At this point, I hope this particular blog is informative in a way that it clears things up for the non-photographers with zero experience in handling photography so actual photographers aren't trying to "educate" the non-photographers on why we actually put film in the fridge out of sheer frustration and don't make me pimp slap you through the computer screen!!! Sit down and take some notes, if not, grab some chop sticks and catch some flies. Yeah, I'm using a Karate Kid movie reference, if you don't know how to use chop sticks, I don't know what to tell you non-Asians and you're lucky I'm unable to stab you in the eye with a chop stick at this point. I'm feeling very Bruce Lee mixed with Daniel LaRusso (the tournament scene from The Karate Kid - Daniel Vs Johnny in the tournament). I'm going to list several YouTube videos to view at your own leisure: What's in my Film Photography Fridge - How to Store film for film photography; What Film I Keep In My Fridge - Vlog What film is in my fridge (YouTube Cribs Edition); and How to store your photography film safely! Here are several blogs for you to read at your own leisure: Everything you need to know about refrigerating and freezing film; How to store film properly, and what happens when you don't; and Film Storage 101: How to store film before and after development for brilliant images. Nonetheless, I hope everyone understands why I've posted these articles and as well as several videos so you, the reader can have some type of understanding on why people in the photography field store film either in the freezer or refrigerator. No, we're not weird or odd or whatever term you wish to utilize.

-This May Sound Strange-

"A photographer went to a socialite party in New York. As he entered the front door, the host said, 'I love your pictures - they're wonderful; you must have a fantastic camera.' He said nothing until dinner was finished, then: 'That was a wonderful dinner; you must have a terrific stove.'" ~ Sam Haskins (🤣)

I'm so looking forward in going on my photography walks and generally when I go on my photography walks, I enjoy my own company so to speak and I hope people aren't offended when I say things like that. It helps clear my head from the stress and everyday life. Yet, I don't mind the company but I prefer going solo on my photography walks. Since my trusty sidekick, Minolta X-370 is currently out of commission, I'd have to find a camera to adopt and I usually treat my camera as if it was my own child because there is no asshole baby daddy involved with excuse after excuse or if you wish to use the term sperm donor with mental health issues and bullshit excuses or showing lack of interest in fatherhood whatsoever. The only time your camera "talks" back is when your camera refuses to cooperate so to speak and I still love my camera as if it were my child! At least I don't have to worry or stress myself out when it comes down to child support or anything of that sort. Anyway, I hope this blog is so far helpful with why many photographers who place their film [both used and not yet used] in the fridge and no, it's not film abuse (think child abuse) and like with writing, photography is my form of artistic therapy, artistic freedom, artistic expression or whatever you want to call it. I am very protective of my camera and the only people to handle my camera are fellow photographers. We're not weird just because the only we look at the world is different than how you view the world and maybe we look at the world from an artistic standpoint. Here is another article for you to read at your own leisure: Tips for storing photographic film... and it is not always in the refrigerator and as mentioned in a previous blog, I enjoy shooting film more so than digital. However, it would be much more economical to shoot digital verses shooting film. I have this Japan Camera Hunter 35mm Film Hard Case (Black, Holds 10 Rolls) in black and I also have an extra Japan Camera Hunter 35mm Film Hard Case but in red! Who knows, I may go back and purchase two additional film hard cases when I'm back at B&H for more film. Adorama have an awesome deal where you can buy in bulk, depending on what your budget is and which type of film you enjoy using. When I go on my photography walks, I already have an idea on where to go with my trusty sidekick and it's very soothing going on photography walks. It really is and if photography was never your thing, maybe you should try it sometime! 😉 I'm good in the hood with my Bose headset; good music from my Spotify playlist (depending on my mood at the moment); walking shoes; and plenty of film to last me for the day.

-Dreams or a Bust-

"To photograph is to hold one's breath, when all faculties converge to capture fleeting reality. It's at that precise moment that mastering an image becomes a great physical and intellectual joy." ~ Henri Cartier-Bresson, The Mind's Eye: Writings on Photography and Photographers

In regards of my plans of going back to LaGuardia Community College, for the moment, it seems like my plans of going back to college anytime soon will have to be placed on the back burner for now because I am not inoculated and I'd rather do the whole COVID-19 testing each week. Yes, it'll be annoying as fuck having to get tested each week but I refuse to get the vaccine and let me make mention of this, I don't trust the vaccine. If I have to, I'd have to review the information that Pinball Preparedness had sent me once when I had contacted him just before New Year's (2021) for the Religious Exemption that I needed for work since my job wanted everyone to get the arm ticket (vaccine). Check out Pinball Preparedness video titled: NO entitiy can LEAGALLY mandate the jab and OSHA says Employers who mandate the jab may be held liable for "any adverse reaction". I still have some hope left for being able to go back to college and when I graduate from LaGuardia Community College with an Associate's Degree, I am deciding which college to transfer to: Fashion Institute of Technology; The New School Parsons; International Center of Photography or New York Film Academy for a Bachelor's of Fine Arts in photography. While I'm a student at LaGuardia Community College (once when they lift the vaccine mandate), I want to give myself time to carefully decide which college to attend for photography and my goal is to go for a Bachelor's of Fine Arts as an undergraduate. At this point of where I'm at, I feel like college is my only ticket out of a minimum wage, dead end job and who knows if I could be wrong because I've heard people studying whatever they're studying in college, whether if it's engineering or whatever people are majoring in and when they graduate from college and they can't seem to find a job in their chosen field and then they're forced to go back to school and start from scratch. I'm hoping I wouldn't have this experience and I honestly have no other backup plans. Before the pandemic, I was considering in going to school to obtain a degree in photography; go back and study to be a teacher so I can teach photography in a high school (hopefully Intro to Photography or the history of photography) until I'm able to go back to study business so I can eventually open my own business. Sadly, there's a lot of math involved for this particular major and math is my kryptonite (I have a fourth grade math level). Nah, I'm going to skip the idea of business and I'm considering anything to do with crime scenes, something I've always had a fascination with for the last several years. Anything morbid I'm happy with. I'm sure there must be a coat school that offers photography courses here in New York City!

"A great photograph is a full of expression of what one feels about what is being photographed in the deepest sense and is thereby a true expression of what one feels about life in its entirety." ~ Ansel Adams

Blessed be,

Jennifer

The Artful Intermission

Namaste everyone!

Hope everyone is doing well on this day! I realize it's been a hot minute since I've posted  anything on here and have been missing in action for a while. Since August of 2017, I've held down a part-time job at Panera Bread as a dining room attendant and that job was more of a short term gig until the manager at the time, Luis had terminated me due to "lack of hours" and for some blah, blah, blah excuse he had given me. I feel like there's more to the story than meets the eye at Panera Bread and I'm not going to speak badly about my employment at Panera Bread because it won't look too cool on my end. So, I had to temporarily abandon ship when it came down to my photography since then... No, I wasn't so much thinking about this blog until recently and had gone on several photography walks in the last several months which by all means were very exciting. I very much looking forward in going on future photography walks and the one thing I intend on doing once when I find employment, I plan on going to B&H to drop off some film before I use any of my other rolls of film I currently hold in my possession. I am itching to go on photography walks and obtaining employment as a photographer or find someone in the photography field that would take me under their wing until I am confident enough to go out there on my own. Due to financial reasons, I am going to be on a photography hiatus until further notice (indefinitely so to speak) and when I am back on my feet with employment, I plan on stocking up on film (such as Ilford HP5 Plus, Ilford XP2, Ilford Delta 100, Ilford Delta 400, Ilford Delta 3200 if needed, and FujiFilm Fujicolor Pro 400H Professional Color Negative films) to last me for a bit. I miss being behind the camera because photography for me is very therapeutic, very relaxing, and it allows me to purge artistically and the freedom to express myself (on how I perceive the world in an artistic way). However, you can follow me on DeviantArt, Flickr, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook (although I'm rarely on Facebook). It's best to search for me at Scorpion Images on Facebook and don't forget to like my pare so I can add you to my personal Facebook page. In the mean time, I need to focus my time and energy into my job search and once when I am fully established work wise, I intend on dropping off some film that a friend of mine had given me several years ago when I had last seen him and I have several rolls of film that needs to be processed. I apologize for any inconveniences that this may cause for those who are currently searching for a local New York City photographer and as mentioned before, once when I'm on my feet with a steady income, I will inform everyone that I'm officially back in business! If you know of any photography studios, please feel free to contact me with any information for any job listings for the Queens and Midtown Manhattan (anywhere from Times Square down to Grand Central Terminal or from Times Square down to Penn Station and Herald Square) areas and I just want to make this clear, I do not have a Bachelor's of Fine Arts in Commercial Photography or any professional experience to share on my resume but I do have this as a side hustle. I unfortunately don't have the available funds to go back to LaGuardia Community College to finish up my studies. If my situation had been different since 2009, I'd be back in college pursuing an education and not wasting my time working at one job after another feeling unhappy with what I do for a living (a job is a job, right?). Additionally, I know what I need to do in order to change my current situation and I know what is expected of me, so you are not telling me anything different than what I've always known. Please, don't think that I am explaining myself because I'm not explaining myself, thank you very much.

It's been a challenge wanting to continue on with any current photography projects such 'New York City: Five Borough Tour' I've been working on since the spring semester of 2013 and I regularly visit Professor Jaimie Gordon's Wordpress page for the most recent syllabus for that semester.

As of late, I’ve been going on YouTube and have been checking out videos on MKUltra and the Illuminati, many videos I’ve watched on YouTube are informative. Plus, I’ve been watching how celebrities such as Beyoncé and Jay-Z are apart of the Illuminati cult and wipe out any other artist who they feel that are considered “threats”. I like their music but I’m not all out a huge fan of Beyoncé and Jay-Z. I know I sound like I’ve lost my mind but had to get it out there. But will leave this entry short and sweet until I have more to update you all on. Just to name a few of the YouTubers I've been watching are: The Truth Show, The Contingency Plan, Visual, and just to name a few.

Warm blessings,

Jennifer

That Awkward Moment

If you've used 35mm film before (past and present) and if you do not own a flash attachment for your film camera, I would heavily suggest for those to purchase one from your local photography store because of an experience that has happened to me a year ago when I was asked to do a candid photo opt. I wasn't prepared with a flash attachment for my camera when I went to the Marriott Marquis in Times Square at this one restaurant called The View and it was my mistake of not asking questions on the lighting situation, as well as checking the place out in advance. The film I used was a Kodak Tri-X (400 ISO) and luckily I was able to develop the film at school (the roll of film I used was Black & White). That night, I was really concerned about the quality of the film because of the very low lighting situation and another mistake was not buying a flash attachment from B&H. When I developed the roll of film at school, the roll of film was garbage because many of the frames were too dark and unusable to scan and edit. It became that awkward but an uncomfortable moment and how do you tell someone that the whole roll of film was/is unusable?

Several months later, I was looking up flash attachments on the B&H website, printed out potential copies of flash attachments and I had gone to B&H. AN employee at B&H had suggested a Sunpak Auto 422D Thryistor Flash attachment for my Minolta X-370 camera which costs $29.95 just for the flash attachment alone and I loved it because I've had the opportunity of using the flash attachment on two different occasions since I bought it from B&H almost a year ago. From the two times I've used my flash attachment, many of the photos came out fabulous! I hope to use my flash attachment again in the near future and I want to put my flash attachment to good use for as long as I can! My next item I plan on saving up for are Induro Adventure AKB2 Tripod Kit, reflectors, a Lowepro Pro Runner 450 AW Backpack (two or three, one bag for a photo shoot, one for travel purposes and a third just for leisure), an Apple laptop, an extra low lighting lens and whatever else that may come to mind at a later date. I have a lot of saving up to do and limiting my spending habits only to taking care of my son and saving up for photography equipment. If I could do what I can in terms of finding employment than I would be all set once when I'm established with work and save my money wisely (I hope). Just use some magick and I hope using some magick would help my money grow!

If you're new to the photography field and if the only camera that you that is within your budget, go for it. Yes, even if you're one of the few people that you actually own a 35 mm film camera when the rest of society owns a DSLR camera nowadays and I realize film cameras are mainly from the dinosaur ages but I think film photography is worth the experience (more than digital photography). But always be prepared with plenty of film, a flash attachment, and spare batteries for both your flash attachment and camera (in case if you forget to recharge your batteries over night to avoid that whole awkward moment of "How do I tell this person that the roll of film is no good so (s)he doesn't that I am a fraud?" It's always important to be prepared for such occasions if you're ever asked to do a pre-candid engagement photo shoot at a restaurant with low lighting.

Warm blessings,

Jennifer

Welcome to My Lens: Life, Film, and Finding My Focus

"To me, photography is an art of observation. It's about finding something interesting in an ordinary place... I've found it has little to do with the things you see and everything to do with the way you see them." ~ Elliot Erwitt

Hi, I'm Jennifer. To understand me, you have to understand the blend of where I come from and where I'm going. I'm a true child of the world - born to a Panamanian Air Force father and a Chinese mother in Arizona. But my roots are firmly planted in Queens, NY, where my mom and I moved after my parents separated. I grew up living with my grandparents, who immigrated to America from China after World War II, surrounded by the comforting background hum of Cantonese, even if I quite picked up the language myself.

Life hasn't always been a straight path. I have an older sister (a Leo!) whom I never grew up with, which has made our relationship a bit estranged and awkward, a direct result of the distance. I've also navigated heavy shadows in my life - surviving childhood abuse from my stepfather and a traumatic assault at 26. Those experiences, along with other men taking advantage of my trust over the years, left me with deep trust issues. But I don't let those chapters define me; they have shaped my resilience.

I'm a Scorpion/Sagittarius cusp, which feels fitting because I am deeply spiritual without adhering to any religion. I believe in the paranormal, but more than that, I believe in the healing power of art. Photography and journaling (a habit I've kept since junior high) are my ultimate therapy. They allow me to channel my artistic way of looking at the world.

Right now, I am a photography student at LaGuardia Community College, working on my associate's degree. My trusty Minolta X-370 is almost always by my side, loaded with Ilford black and white, Kodak Portra, or the occasional CineStill film. When I need to stock up, B&H Photo Video is my go-to, through K&M Camera is my perfect backup when B&H and Adorama are closed for Jewish holidays.

Outside of taking photos, my life revolves around prioritizing my health, spirituality, reading novels, listening to music, and working out. You'll also catch me representing the Yankees and the Diamondbacks if sports are on, though I'm not a massive sports fan.

On a personal level, I am asexual and I am not a firm believer in marriage. I'm also a mom to an amazing son who is on the autism spectrum. I became pregnant with him following my assault, and I will be the first to tell you that I never had the maternal desire for motherhood. I love children, but from afar! It's a reminder that not everyone experiences the desire for motherhood, and that is perfectly okay.

If you are trying to date or connect with me, please know this: it takes time for me to warm up to you. I have my walls up for a reason, and even if I don't entirely seem uninterested in the beginning, it's just my way of protecting myself. It requires patience.

This blog is a space for me to share my journey, my journaling, and my film photography. Thank you for being here and taking the time to see the world through m lens.

Best regards,

Jennifer