Blood, Betrayal, and Blogs

 "Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you." ~ Phillip Sidney

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️It's been nearly three years since my email to Nargiss and Pamela (I'm certain their feelings are still injured to this day but boo-hoo). Unfortunately, my "mother" and Nargiss both have nothing better to do with themselves because here they go with their bullshit of talking shit about me since they both are bitter and miserable with themselves that they have to talk shit about me! If Nargiss wanted to know which high school my son, Stephan will be attending in the fall, she could have directly asked me since I am Stephan's mother! My mother is only that miserable grandmother with nothing of importance to give back to the universe (just saying). I may not follow the Christian "bible" or the Christian teachings, as the saying goes, "You reap what you sow," and be mindful of the Wiccan Law of Threefold Return. The Wiccan Law of Threefold Return (or Rule of Three) is an ethical principle stating that whatever energy, intention, or action you put into the universe - whether positive or negative - will return to you magnified three times over. At the end of the day, if they are going to talk shit about me behind my back and while they are there, feel free to kiss my ass while you're there while I go on living my own life whether if they are in it or not. Why should it be any of Nargiss' concern on what high school my son will be attending in the fall? Listen here, Nargiss, you're not paying my bills and why the fuck should it fucking matter to you on what school my son attends? I can't talk to you right now. My doctor said I should avoid things that make me nauseous. Being bitter won't make you prettier. Back to the topic! Since I've downloaded WhatsApp on my laptop and I was able to log into my mother's WhatsApp from her phone to my laptop without her knowledge. I was also able to screenshot my mother's and Nargiss' conversation over on WhatsApp. Just to break it down the confusion, Nargiss is grey (on the left) and my mother's response are green on the right. The screenshot is at the bottom of this blog. It's unfortunate that my mother is that miserable and bothered that she feels the need to talk shit about me!

"Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are." ~ Maya Angelou

It's a fucking shame that my mother would talk shit about me to other people and I'm sure she would never speak negatively about my sister, Gwendolyn. All I have to say is: Stay bothered, stay bitter, stay jealous, stay miserable just because you see something in me that you lack within your own mind, body, and soul and that is your problem that you need to work on, not my problem. Just so you know, there's a thing called therapy to help you if you ever need to seek out a therapist in case you're too incompetent to figure that out on your own. If you want to remain miserable, bitter, bothered, and jealous, that's all on you bitches because I have bigger fish to try then to deal with your toxic bullshit and drama. There is always psychological assistance if you are that bothered by my existence since it seems like you are terribly bothered by my existence in life and I exist whether or not you like it or not! If you want me dead through spiritual practice, be my guest because I am spiritually protected and you don't need to know since it's none of your concern at this point. Do all the Santeria, Brujeria, Voodoo, and Hoodoo all you want because I will eventually find out. You have wasted your finances on wiping me out to have my death appear "natural" when it wasn't and if that is the case, I will find a way to come back from the dead. Reap what you sow! Although I'm sure there's no medical proof of spiritual practice involved in a person's death without sounding like I've lost my mind because I'm certain it happens whenever needed without having to risk time behind bars.

"Your own family will talk shit about you when you're in the process of breaking generational curses. This ain't for the weak." ~ Denzel Washington

Family ain't always fucking shit just because we share DNA and I now know that I cannot bring any of my friends' home since I don't need my mother stealing my friends who are old enough to be her children. When it's in the cards for me to finally move out and live on my own, my mother will spend the rest of her life alone, bitter, jealous, miserable, and bothered just because I will no longer be the topic of discussion to her and Nargiss. 🤣 It will be to the point she will be curious to know what I have been up to! Let's not get it twisted, I want no part of that drama, and I want to see myself flourish into the person I am meant to be in this life so I am not witnessing my mother's unfortunate karma and downfall in her own life because she did it to herself, again, let's not get it twisted. I have bigger fish to fry than to worry about someone like her. As the Wiccan Red is as the summarized by the famous eight-word phrase: "An ye harm none, do what ye will" (meaning "If it harms no one, do what you want."). I will eventually overcome this sooner or later!

Stay bothered! 😉

Blessed be,

Jennifer

With Friends Like You, Who Needs Enemies!

Dear "Friend" who Betrayed me,

Good morning; afternoon; and evening Nargiss and Pamela! Namaste. 🙏🏾 How are you? Before I say anything else, I want you to know that I love you. I have always loved you and I will never stop. I need to tell you that I am grateful. I am grateful for all the wonderful memories that created amazing friendship we once had. I will never forget the days at the beach, or the countless hours drinking tea and chatting about this, that and whatever else. I will remember the parties and crazy evenings spent with you.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for all the times that you saved me from myself. When I needed someone to vent to, you were there. You would listen, and you would tell me that I was being an idiot, or that I was not. I want to thank you wholeheartedly for the hours spent trying to pull me out of dark places in my mind. Thank you for the lengthy conversations we had. Thank you for telling me how much you cared when I thought nobody did. I am endlessly grateful for your persistent attempts to support me when all I did was push you away. I know I didn't always show it, but I appreciated it more than you will ever know.

 

It is all these things that have instilled an everlasting love and admiration for you in my heart, but it is not enough to keep our friendship intact. You hurt me. You hurt me at a time when I didn't think I could hurt any more. You treated me like gold, you built up my trust, and then you smashed it into a million pieces when I was most vulnerable. You turned your back on me when I needed you, and for that I will never forgive you. I truly believe that you do not understand how much pain you caused, and I hope you never do. I hope you never have to experience the guilt of knowing what you have put me through. I know that you are a good person, and that your actions were unintentional, but that does not make it any less painful for me.

Our friendship is over now, and that void will never be filled. There is no going back, but I need you to know that I will always support you from afar. I will always wish good things for you, and should you ever need a shoulder to cry on, mine will always be there for you. If anyone asks me about you, I will have nothing but kind words to share. You hurt me, and I will never forget that, but that is nothing in comparison to the amazing impact you've had on my life. So this is goodbye, goodbye and thank you. Thank you for being you, and thank you for making me, me.

I would like to say that I can see us being friends again in the future but that'll be a lie. It would never be the same again and if I happen to see you one day, I'll smile and walk away. And although, my heart will break a little and memories will hit me like a train, I'll be grateful for the times that we spent together.

They say that, some people just aren't meant to stay in your life forever unfortunately, you were one of those people. But they also say that, some people come into your life to teach you a lesson and leave, but the most important ones leave a mark.

Well, you left a mark on me, and I am grateful that you came into my life, when you did.

I also know that you may never see this but, I just needed to get it off my chest. There was a lot left unsaid, a lot I wish I could've said. So, I guess I'm writing this to get some closure, for myself.

I sincerely hope that, you and your family are doing well. I wish you get everything you want from your life, and more.

Know that you'll always hold a place in my heart.

This is a letter to you to say a few things I didn't get to say previously. No, this isn't here to bash you or list reasons why I hate you. Because to clarify, I don't hate you at all. In fact, I still have a place in my heart just for you and our memories. So keep in mind, if you ever see me out one day, say hi to me. Cause there was once a time when we would've looked forward to seeing each other. Now, here's the real kicker and best part of the blog! Nargiss, if you're claiming that I am being "childish," learn to say it to my face and only milquetoasts sit behind technology and resort to name calling. How very mature of the both of you to talk shit about me behind my back instead of speaking to me first for my side of the story. LOL... You were supposed to always look out for me - but then you were talking behind my back. However, I realize I may not be able to prove that you both are talking shit about me behind my back but I am going to go with my first instinct and as the saying goes, your first instinct is NEVER wrong! What's even more childish is that I would not be shocked if you and Pamela are talking shit about me behind my back instead of being "adults" about this situation. Now, who's being infantile? Yet, you accuse me of not being "adult" enough when in reality the both of you are doing the same exact thing behind my back by talking about me. Conspiring against me along with my own mother, Shiu, is never a positive sign, especially since my mother doesn't have any friends in her own age group so out of sheer desperation and most likely out of fear of being alone in a friendless way; nonetheless, she steals my friends who are within my age group but how mature of my mother as well. Moreover, the sad reality is that I know I will never be good enough for my own mother for all of the personal reasons I am mentioning this and in the end I know she loves my sister, Gwen more than she will ever love me. I'm a fiercely loyal person, and I will do everything in my power to keep a friendship alive. That is, until I have been hurt too many times and need to withdraw for my own sanity and protection, or until life's wind blows too hard and I am forced to let go in comparison to those who are two-faced; hypocrites; backstabbing; pompous; ungrateful; jaundiced; ignorant; conniving; manipulative; stool pigeon; egocentric; captious; and yet condescending assholes in the world... I'm not insulting you. I'm just describing you. Oh no, no, no sweetheart, you both have it all twisted, I refuse to pull the victim card and give you both the mental; emotional; psychological; and most importantly, the spiritual satisfaction but learn to get your facts straight next time before talking all that childish nonsense about people! I'm much too classy to fall for such act of yours. You play the victim. I'll play the disinterested bystander. How would you both like it if the shoe was on the other foot and I did that to you? What would you say and what would you do if I did that to you? Let it be granted that both of you would be fucking pissed! Right? Now you know what I mean, would you say that I am two-faced; hypocrite; backstabbing motherfucker? For instance: Pamela, would you want me to go behind your back and tell your mother that you need to pay rent; the electric bill; and etc.? And that she should begin preparing your funeral because of your ex? Now with that Order of Protection simply does NOT ACT as a bullet proof vest for jack shit because it will only motivate men with such violent mindset so much more to commit murder and exes can always find ways to commit homicide without blood being on their hands! How would you know if he's not going to hire a hit-man dressed in a United States Postal worker uniform or even a FedEx delivery person and point a gun at your head, pull the trigger killing you instantly right then and there once when you open the front door and go right after Johnathan? People are very clever and super creative if they play their cards right and still get away with murder! In the end, I hope you are fully aware that people can find just about anything on Amazon these days and just be mindful of that! Take my colleague from Staples, James' wife and daughter were both brutally raped and murdered by his wife's ex-boyfriend... Oh, did I mention weapon of choice of the ex-boyfriend, it was a hammer? James mentioned that there is not a day that goes by that he doesn't think about ending his own life. Another way to harm people is through brujería; Santería or Voodoo/Hoodoo and all your ex needs is something that belongs to you such as hair, a picture of you and your date of birth or whatever he can get his hands on at the moment (keep that in mind as future reference and you'll thank me later), depending which direction he's heading towards. There are ways to spiritually protect yourself and if your ex believes in dark magick, then he'd be spending a fortune on making your life very, very miserable by going to a bruja or doing this himself. Be very vigilant of people who are into dark magick because they want what you have and I have no intentions of harming you whatsoever through brujería, unless you cause me harm first then I'll do what it takes to protect myself. I am not done yet because I'm just getting started!!! Nargiss, would you want me to go to your parents behind your back and tell your family that you're not a virgin and how you were raped at the age of 12 or 13? Let's. 👏🏾 Not. 👏🏾 Get. 👏🏾 It. 👏🏾 Twisted! 👏🏾 There had been several times when you've mentioned that you wished your parents would divorce and you can't backtrack on what you've said in conversation because that's what you've mentioned in a past conversation. I was going to purchase a Back-To-Back Separation Candle Black; and several oils [Break Up Oil; Separation Oil; Break Up Sachet Powder; and Separation Sachet Powder] from Original Botanica or there's always that option of them Separate Custom Big Al Candle but now that I think about it, I have completely changed my mind because you are on your own with that! All you need are your parents full names; date of birth; and a picture of them together for the spell. As the saying goes, be careful in what you wish for because your wish will eventually be granted. Do your parents even realize they're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right? Don't be ashamed of who you are. That's your parents' job. I can't help imagining how much more awesome the world would be if your dad had just pulled out earlier. Life is like chess, and I don't always have to announce my next move to either one of you or to anyone else because I don't have to answer to neither one of you. I don't keep secrets; I just keep people out of my business. My business isn't your business. Unless you're a thong, don't be up my ass. Yeah, most people just love to insult my intelligence because people have nothing better to do with their time [and energy] since they're so miserable with their own lives, people will do anything [and everything] in their power to make my life so very miserable and I am not as incompetent as I look because I am a lot smarter than I look (looks can be very deceiving) ... However, instead of accusing me of being a liar, when you were with José and he got you pregnant. Before you even told me that you had the baby aborted, you went on Facebook and lied that you had a "miscarriage" due to "stress" between José and yourself with that level of conflict. For some reason, I had a feeling you had the baby aborted until you came out and told me confirming what my instincts were already telling me. Now Nargiss, since you failed to provide any legitimate examples (three at most) of how I'm being negative, so therefore, your accusations tend to be: tedious; ineffectual; void; very inconsistent; irrelevant; ignorant; sneaky; conniving; very condescending of you; total bullshit; and extremely preposterous. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! You know what Nargiss, you should become a comedian someday! People say that laughter is the best medicine... your face must be curing the world. Too bad you can't Photoshop your ugly personality. Why don't you pick up your own dirty laundry before you complain about mine!!! Don't throw stones at my glass house when you live in a glass house as well. Which I can knock down with just one stone! With friends like you, who needs enemies. By the way Nargiss, nice try getting Donald to conspire against me and as I've mentioned before, I know you so desperately want that satisfaction of me talking about you behind your backs to Donald. Bravo, bravo Nargiss! 👏🏾 (*Standing ovation is much needed at this point!*) You'd be in good shape... if you ran as much as your mouth. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Life is full of disappointments, and I just added you to the list, Nargiss. By the way, my tolerance for idiots is extremely low today. I used to have some immunity built up but obviously there is a new strain out there. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. As for my mother, I don't agree with what she had done and it's an unforgivable act of behavior on her end because she is in the wrong for what she had done. This is not normal behavior to befriend someone who is old enough to be her daughter and you know as well as I do, she is in need of deep psychological assistance something awful whether if you choose to openly admit it or not. Do not include my mother in on our fight! I personally don't find this behavior at all normal to befriend someone who is old enough to be your own mother and besides, what could she have in common with someone who is old enough to be her daughter anyway? No, I'm not hating on anyone because I have better things to accomplish than be around people who stab others in the back and laugh about it in the process. This is not my mother's fight (and you know it...) and if you're going to include my mother in on this, where in the world does she fit in this equation, Nargiss? Riddle me that because I can't seem to figure it out! If you can't come up with an honest reasonable response than do not include my mother in on this since it's the three of us, as in you, Pamela and I and no one else. Please get that through your thick head, Nargiss and quit wasting my time with trying to get my mother involved when it's none of her concern whatsoever. I would totally understand that the only available option to have my mother involved with this is if I was abusing controlled substance such as drugs and/or alcohol then it would be logical and yet understandable in staging an intervention. Since I am not abusing drugs or alcohol then it should result in zero excuses as to have my mother involved with this when it's none of her concern whatsoever. All in all, you both have no idea who you are messing with! 😏 Don't you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning, Nargiss? Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there. If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.

You said some brutal, heartless things to me, which really crushed me. I loved you so much. But there were misunderstandings. Life became a competition, mutual friends took sides, and even being friends with others seemed to be a competition with you. Then it was almost like others took our places in each others lives. Then in the end, I had to pull away from you more. How else was I supposed to react when you stabbed me in the back? I know you thought what I said was unfair and unfeeling. But would you listen to me when I tried to explain? No. But I wish you had. We could have reasoned with each other. I would never have tried to hurt you or do anything unfair or unkind in our friendship. But why did you have to backstab me??? I guess I will never know. But I need you to know that I was devastated by what happened. We are not friends, and we are not even acquaintances. Let's not pretend like we don't know each other. I couldn't tell you when, and I couldn't tell you why or how, but one day I knew our friendship was coming to an end. A year ago, I would've blamed others, I even would have blamed you. But to be quite frank, I don't think anyone is to blame. I truly believe that life ran its course and we exhausted what we had to offer each other. I thank Yahuah that He showed us that things really do happen for a reason, and that we should always trust the process. I wish the both of you the best of luck on this journey in life, may it be mentally; emotionally; physically; [definitely] psychology; and yet spiritually.

I want to start by saying that I hate the term "ex" best friend. I think it's pretty dramatic if we are being honest. I think the reason that term fits here, however, is simple. We aren't friends anymore. We don't associate, and we don't even follow each other on social media. Gasp, I know.

I hate how things ended between us. I feel like neither of us ever said bye to each other, and I'm always going to be upset about that. If I'm being honest, I'm still a little mad at how our friendship stopped. I don't have any hard feelings towards you personally, but I can't believe how you just let me go so quickly, and how you haven't reached out to me in over a year. You made me feel like everything about our friendship meant nothing to you, and that really hurts me.

And even though we are no longer friends, I just want you to know that I could never hate you. Trust me, I've tried. It sounds awful, but I thought it would be easier to get over losing you if I could hate you - but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was hurt when you left, but I will never hate you. You were my best friend. And despite how things ended up, because of that, I will always love you.

Friendships are a two-way street; I felt as though I was traveling down a one-way dead-end lane. You became so absorbed in your own life that you forgot to appreciate the friendship I was so carefully cultivating.

I understand that each friendship is unique. Some friends are there to get you through a finite period of time. Some friendships last a lifetime.

I am a damn good friend. I will be there in good times and bad. I always give more than I receive. I deserve someone who appreciates and respects me. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. But as with all relationships, friendships have highs and lows. You have to learn to stick it out when times get tough.

I hope you find happiness in life. But I encourage you to take more time to appreciate the friendships you find value in. Because the moment you stop trying is the moment your relationships will suffer.

And one day, part of me hopes you regret the fact that you let our friendship die.

This letter isn't to shame you for our past, but I hope it serves as a reminder to never take the people in your life for granted. Because one day they'll realize they deserve more.

If you care about someone and value their friendship, tell them. Show them. They deserve to know.

Betrayal taught me not to be so open and so giving to people who don't deserve it. It taught me to be a little more guarded. I'm still FRIENDLY, but now I have BOUNDARIES. It taught me that I don't need to like everyone and not everyone needs to like me.

I realized that I can't change people. Feeling sorry and remorse comes from within. In life, you will deal with people who, no matter what, will not admit for being wrong. Unfortunately, you will deal with people who just don't care about your feelings and have no regard for your emotions.

I also have learned to appreciate the people in my life who are REAL, GENUINE and have proven to have my best interest at heart. I am thankful for all the LOYAL people in my life, and I have learned to not care about the "FAKE" people who were just part of my life, TEMPORARILY.

I want to thank you for showing me that I shouldn't have to question our friendship. I'm done hearing you talk about other people and then act like you're their friend, all the while wondering if you're doing the same to me. A true friend is one that I can trust implicitly.

Lastly, I want to thank you for helping me understand that losing a best friend isn't the end of the world. That I can move on and be happy. That there are people out there that do care for me and are my true friends. I do hope you figure out what you're looking for and eventually find it.

"Fake friends believe in rumors. Real friends believe in you." ~ Yolanda Hadid

Good night and sweet dreams when you go to bed tonight. By the way, "How have you been sleeping?" ~ Bonnie and you may want to be careful on who you're dealing with next time, if there's a next time!

Thank you for your consideration. Take care, I'll love you forever, Your ex best friend.

Sincerely,

Jennifer, The amazing friend you let go

P.S. QUALITY MATTERS MORE THAN QUANTITY WHEN IT COMES TO FRIENDS.