When He Doesn't Show Up: Realizing Your Worth After Being Flaked On

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." ~ Mark Twain

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️ Not for nothing without putting my business out there, I recently met this guy, Wilfred on May 06, 2026, near Citi Field and we exchanged numbers. We were supposed to meet on May 17, 2026 at Starbucks in Union Square and I was the only one who showed up. I should have responded much differently by saying: "It was nice knowing you! Thanks for the ghosting experience - at least I know not to hold my breath next time. Best of luck out there!" or my other response would have been: "Thanks for standing me up! 🚩 Just a heads up, if the shoe was on the other foot and I did this to you, my phone would be blowing up with angry texts right now. 🙄" or the third response would have been: "Thanks for standing me up today. If you're an adult, you need to communicate plan changes earlier in the day. I deserve better than the silent treatment, especially when I could have been home spending time with my son. I know you've read my WhatsApp messages. If you don't like my communication style, feel free to permanently delete my number and never contact me again." Then Wilfred decides to hit me up the next day without apologizing for what happened the day before, and his sad excuse was he fell asleep which is bullshit (fuck you and your excuses). He also said, "Nice lips to kiss." I told him he missed his opportunity yesterday when I should have told him: "Reading my messages but choosing not to reply is a pretty weak excuse for standing me up yesterday. Don't act like you forgot what happened. If you want to make things right, step up and take accountability instead of playing games." Wilfred apologized by saying: "I'm so sorry" and I personally feel that he could have something along the lines of "I am so sorry I left you hanging last night" or "I know your time is valuable, and it was incredibly disrespectful of me to waste it." Instead of simply saying "We can go out" which sounds so fucking lame and yet generic at the same time. If he truly wants to take me out or whatever the fuck than he would or should say "I'd love to make it up to you by taking you out to dinner this weekend. Let me know what day and restaurant work best for you." and follow up by saying "I'm actively working on my time management, and I promise I will communicate much better in the future so this doesn't happen again." which is respectable if you think about it. If you're unable to meet, articulate that you're unable to make it earlier in the day so I'm not left hanging (just saying). I have included a picture of Wilfred and screenshots of our conversation we've had (I used this template on Instagram to set up the dialogue). I feel like if I were to give him a second chance to make things right, I'm sure it'll be a slim chance of him showing up and since he stood me up once, than chances are, he will be most likely to stand me multiple times. Part of me wants to give him a second chance out of curiosity and see if he'll keep his word by showing up. If not, it's best for us to distance ourselves from each other so we're not going back and forth on this situation going forward if he's serious about wanting to be with me. If he stands me up second time, I feel I've set myself up for disappointment when I deserve better and I'm not going to disrupt my mental health over this dude! There are plenty of guys out there that I can date whether he likes it or not since he's not paying my phone bill. If he genuinely doesn't like it, oh well, boo-hoo and go cry to your momma and tell her on how I broke your unhealed heart of yours. (*Note the sarcasm!*) All I have to say is I don't mind taking myself to a nail salon for some self-care, buy myself flowers, hold my own hand and what I am trying to say is I am a fan of Miley Cyrus' song titled: Flowers! Not to throw shade at him or this other guy who first stood me up ten months ago as well. Hey, it's your loss, not mine because you're missing out on an amazing person like me! 🤷🏽‍♀️ Some of you guys don't know how to communicate properly in a nature situation and if something comes up in advance, I completely understand if you're exhausted or whatever the situation may be because I could've made other plans to accommodate the plans we could've had and I would have had much more respect for you to speak up early on versus at the last minute or whatever the fuck. Don't get angry at me for even trying to communicate like a mature person should in their own right! Sit there and act like a child for all I care. I wouldn't be surprised if some of you will say this blog is completely uncalled for and I'm letting you women know in advance of guys like Wilfred and Joseph who recently stood me up.

"A second chance doesn't mean anything if you didn't learn from your first." ~ Anurag Prakash Ray

I honestly would give Wilfred a second chance, however, I don't know or rather I doubt I should trust him going forward and if this happened once, I am 100% certain this may occur again and again from him to the point I'd have to treat him like a child when I shouldn't fucking have to! If he cannot respect people's time and energy, he should absolutely remain single for the rest of his life because I feel people will feel that he isn't worthy of love and attention if he can't be mature enough to communicate with me or anyone else for that matter. We've only met once, he mentions he wants me and he can't stop thinking about me. He must tell other women this same story just to gas their heads up with lies and excuses just to get them in bed with him. I'm not buying into this narrative because I'm not incompetent. To say the least, I have to prioritize my health, making sure my son is taken care of first, and overall, I have to make sure everything at home is taken care of before I allow someone else into my life whether to make it better or worse case scenario, topsy-turvy. Topsy-turvy is something I can live without at this point in my life. Well, I highly doubt I will be seeing Wilfred any time soon. Nonetheless, if he genuinely wants me to give someone like him a second chance, and I will respond with this: I'm open to seeing if things can work, but I need to protect my peace and time. If you genuinely want this to work out, I need you to tell me three concrete reasons why I should give you a second chance. Going forward, what exact steps will you take to hold yourself accountable and ensure you don't stand me up when we make plans?

Here is a picture of Wilfred and the screenshots of our conversation the day after he stood me up on May 17, 2026! 🤔 I would give him a second chance but to what's extent without feeling like I have wasted my time and energy by giving him a second chance. I don't feel attracted to him and I'm already disappointed with his first impression of not showing up as he should. Well, it's his own loss for not showing up! 🤷🏽‍♀️ I would've added several screenshots of the conversation but didn't want people to get confused with what was being said [for those who are curious]. Part of me wants to give him a second chance just to see if he keeps his word and maybe I should string him along just to play games with him as he's doing with me!

Blessed be,

Jennifer

Unfiltered Motherhood: The Solo Journey

"A mother's love is everything. It is what brings a child into this world. It is what molds their entire being. When a mother sees her child in danger, she is literally capable of anything. Mothers have lifted cars off of their children and destroyed entire dynasties. A mother's love is the strongest energy known to man." ~ Jamie McGuire

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️ Happy Mother's Day to all moms out there. Since today is Mother's Day and since our experiences are different. I don't want people to have this impression and say that I'm "complaining" about something that is supposed to be beautiful and only if my experiences were different. I don't have any pregnancy pictures or a sonogram from my pregnancy. Believe me, I've attempted to ask for a sonogram but was told there wasn't any and I'm not certain if it is because I wanted to put my son up for adoption sixteen years ago. I don't know how much therapy can repair my pregnancy experience and I wish my pregnancy wasn't so traumatic. I was angry at myself mostly because I felt like I hadn't done enough to protect myself and I wish I had gotten my tubal ligation done years ago. I wouldn't be surprised if I had a gynecologist encouraging me to "wait" before I knew that sperm donor, Donald, even existed. I have always known that I've never wanted children for personal reasons, not everyone wants children for personal reasons, not everyone is fit to be parents (whether due to mental illness such as bipolar; schizophrenia; borderline personality disorder; just to name a few), and there are people should not bother to have children because of their shitty ass personality, specifically guys because most of you are so quick to run off into the sunset so you can live your best life while the mother of your child is sacrificing her body, her peace, her sleep, her social life, her love life, and her career for a pay cut while you're out there selfishly living your best life knowingly you've fucking destroyed her life and her body, for what? What the fuck are you getting out of this? That child will grow up feeling like they're inadequate, wondering what they have done wrong and feeling like there's something wrong with them when you're the problem that these children exist. Cut the excuses because life is too short for your sad excuses. I have my own reasons why I've never had that maternal desire to be a mom and one of those reasons is I don't need people doing the most traumatic things to my child leaving scars which would lead to sex/prostitution, drugs, and alcohol. When I got pregnant, I wanted to put my son up for adoption because I wasn't ready for motherhood and my son's father gave me an excuse that he wanted to distance himself because of my decision, but I decided to keep my son. 

"Mothers - especially single mothers - are heroic in their efforts to raise our nation's children, but men must also take responsibility for their children and recognize the impact they have on their families' well-being." ~ Evan Bayh

Being a single mom is no joke because there are many nights that are uneasy and there are moments that I'd love to do something nice for myself, such as going on date nights whether going on a date with someone or treating myself out to a movie and dinner. The idea of getting dressed up, saying "Fuck it!" and treat myself out to dinner and a movie or a Broadway show and a movie. Something nice. The sad reality, a lot of us or a handful of single moms don't have it easy because there is no support system to help and it's all work, work, work. When do we get to feel soft, loved, feminine, and the idea of feeling human! As single moms, we are humans too, we bleed the same, we deserve to feel happy, safe, loved, feminine and human. Yet, we're left feeling sad, frustrated, underappreciated and depleted. I don't want to say bitter because we are the ones hustling for that weekly income to ensure the rent is paid in full for the month; there's food in the refrigerator, the kids have clean clothes, and making sure the bills are paid in full for the moment. Meanwhile, the "fathers" are out there selfishly living their best lives, however, don't get angry when your own children you abandoned want nothing more to do with you because you were never there from birth until present day. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything to make you feel comfortable, nonetheless I will say it anyway. How do you sleep at night knowing you are supposed to go 50/50 on co-parenting? At the end of the day, you are a piece of shit as a "father figure." Make it make sense! If you're not looking to be celebrating Father's Day, please do yourselves a solid favor for everyone around you, either learn to take no as a final answer without question, your second option is to get yourself a vasectomy because that child you helped create did not ask to be born and they had not received that memo that they weren't supposed to even exist. Now that child is feeling a certain type of way about you! Your third option is to use protection as a form of contraception and condoms exist for two reasons. This is why pregnancy rate is the way it is and be mindful of STDs. Don't start complaining that you dislike wearing condoms because there are dishonest women out there who will cry wolf that you raped them while those who have genuinely experienced rape will unfortunately go unreported. I wouldn't be surprised if people start victim shaming the woman for getting raped. Once you become a dad, there is no return policy on newborns and there is no turning back either.

Blessed be,

Jennifer