"A mother's love is everything. It is what brings a child into this world. It is what molds their entire being. When a mother sees her child in danger, she is literally capable of anything. Mothers have lifted cars off of their children and destroyed entire dynasties. A mother's love is the strongest energy known to man." ~ Jamie McGuire
Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽♀️ Happy Mother's Day to all moms out there. Since today is Mother's Day and since our experiences are different. I don't want people to have this impression and say that I'm "complaining" about something that is supposed to be beautiful and only if my experiences were different. I don't have any pregnancy pictures or a sonogram from my pregnancy. Believe me, I've attempted to ask for a sonogram but was told there wasn't any and I'm not certain if it is because I wanted to put my son up for adoption sixteen years ago. I don't know how much therapy can repair my pregnancy experience and I wish my pregnancy wasn't so traumatic. I was angry at myself mostly because I felt like I hadn't done enough to protect myself and I wish I had gotten my tubal ligation done years ago. I wouldn't be surprised if I had a gynecologist encouraging me to "wait" before I knew that sperm donor, Donald, even existed. I have always known that I've never wanted children for personal reasons, not everyone wants children for personal reasons, not everyone is fit to be parents (whether due to mental illness such as bipolar; schizophrenia; borderline personality disorder; just to name a few), and there are people should not bother to have children because of their shitty ass personality, specifically guys because most of you are so quick to run off into the sunset so you can live your best life while the mother of your child is sacrificing her body, her peace, her sleep, her social life, her love life, and her career for a pay cut while you're out there selfishly living your best life knowingly you've fucking destroyed her life and her body, for what? What the fuck are you getting out of this? That child will grow up feeling like they're inadequate, wondering what they have done wrong and feeling like there's something wrong with them when you're the problem that these children exist. Cut the excuses because life is too short for your sad excuses. I have my own reasons why I've never had that maternal desire to be a mom and one of those reasons is I don't need people doing the most traumatic things to my child leaving scars which would lead to sex/prostitution, drugs, and alcohol. When I got pregnant, I wanted to put my son up for adoption because I wasn't ready for motherhood and my son's father gave me an excuse that he wanted to distance himself because of my decision, but I decided to keep my son.
"Mothers - especially single mothers - are heroic in their efforts to raise our nation's children, but men must also take responsibility for their children and recognize the impact they have on their families' well-being." ~ Evan Bayh
Being a single mom is no joke because there are many nights that are uneasy and there are moments that I'd love to do something nice for myself, such as going on date nights whether going on a date with someone or treating myself out to a movie and dinner. The idea of getting dressed up, saying "Fuck it!" and treat myself out to dinner and a movie or a Broadway show and a movie. Something nice. The sad reality, a lot of us or a handful of single moms don't have it easy because there is no support system to help and it's all work, work, work. When do we get to feel soft, loved, feminine, and the idea of feeling human! As single moms, we are humans too, we bleed the same, we deserve to feel happy, safe, loved, feminine and human. Yet, we're left feeling sad, frustrated, underappreciated and depleted. I don't want to say bitter because we are the ones hustling for that weekly income to ensure the rent is paid in full for the month; there's food in the refrigerator, the kids have clean clothes, and making sure the bills are paid in full for the moment. Meanwhile, the "fathers" are out there selfishly living their best lives, however, don't get angry when your own children you abandoned want nothing more to do with you because you were never there from birth until present day. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything to make you feel comfortable, nonetheless I will say it anyway. How do you sleep at night knowing you are supposed to go 50/50 on co-parenting? At the end of the day, you are a piece of shit as a "father figure." Make it make sense! If you're not looking to be celebrating Father's Day, please do yourselves a solid favor for everyone around you, either learn to take no as a final answer without question, your second option is to get yourself a vasectomy because that child you helped create did not ask to be born and they had not received that memo that they weren't supposed to even exist. Now that child is feeling a certain type of way about you! Your third option is to use protection as a form of contraception and condoms exist for two reasons. This is why pregnancy rate is the way it is and be mindful of STDs. Don't start complaining that you dislike wearing condoms because there are dishonest women out there who will cry wolf that you raped them while those who have genuinely experienced rape will unfortunately go unreported. I wouldn't be surprised if people start victim shaming the woman for getting raped. Once you become a dad, there is no return policy on newborns and there is no turning back either.
Blessed be,
Jennifer
