When He Doesn't Show Up: Realizing Your Worth After Being Flaked On

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option." ~ Mark Twain

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️ Not for nothing without putting my business out there, I recently met this guy, Wilfred on May 06, 2026, near Citi Field and we exchanged numbers. We were supposed to meet on May 17, 2026 at Starbucks in Union Square and I was the only one who showed up. I should have responded much differently by saying: "It was nice knowing you! Thanks for the ghosting experience - at least I know not to hold my breath next time. Best of luck out there!" or my other response would have been: "Thanks for standing me up! 🚩 Just a heads up, if the shoe was on the other foot and I did this to you, my phone would be blowing up with angry texts right now. 🙄" or the third response would have been: "Thanks for standing me up today. If you're an adult, you need to communicate plan changes earlier in the day. I deserve better than the silent treatment, especially when I could have been home spending time with my son. I know you've read my WhatsApp messages. If you don't like my communication style, feel free to permanently delete my number and never contact me again." Then Wilfred decides to hit me up the next day without apologizing for what happened the day before, and his sad excuse was he fell asleep which is bullshit (fuck you and your excuses). He also said, "Nice lips to kiss." I told him he missed his opportunity yesterday when I should have told him: "Reading my messages but choosing not to reply is a pretty weak excuse for standing me up yesterday. Don't act like you forgot what happened. If you want to make things right, step up and take accountability instead of playing games." Wilfred apologized by saying: "I'm so sorry" and I personally feel that he could have something along the lines of "I am so sorry I left you hanging last night" or "I know your time is valuable, and it was incredibly disrespectful of me to waste it." Instead of simply saying "We can go out" which sounds so fucking lame and yet generic at the same time. If he truly wants to take me out or whatever the fuck than he would or should say "I'd love to make it up to you by taking you out to dinner this weekend. Let me know what day and restaurant work best for you." and follow up by saying "I'm actively working on my time management, and I promise I will communicate much better in the future so this doesn't happen again." which is respectable if you think about it. If you're unable to meet, articulate that you're unable to make it earlier in the day so I'm not left hanging (just saying). I have included a picture of Wilfred and screenshots of our conversation we've had (I used this template on Instagram to set up the dialogue). I feel like if I were to give him a second chance to make things right, I'm sure it'll be a slim chance of him showing up and if he stood me up once, than chances are, he will be most likely to stand me up again. Part of me wants to give him a second chance out of curiosity and see if he'll keep his word by showing up. If not, it's best for us to distance ourselves from each other so we're not going back and forth on this situation going forward.

"A second chance doesn't mean anything if you didn't learn from your first." ~ Anurag Prakash Ray

I honestly would give Wilfred a second chance, however, I don't know or rather I doubt I should trust him going forward and if this happened once, I am 100% certain this may occur again and again from him to the point I'd have to treat him like a child when I shouldn't fucking have to! If he cannot respect people's time and energy, he should absolutely remain single for the rest of his life because I feel people will feel that he isn't worthy of love and attention if he can't be mature enough to communicate with me or anyone else for that matter. We've only met once, he mentions he wants me and he can't stop thinking about me. He must tell other women this same story just to gas their heads up with lies and excuses just to get them in bed with him. I'm not buying into this narrative because I'm not incompetent. To say the least, I have to prioritize my health, making sure my son is taken care of first, and overall, I have to make sure everything at home is taken care of before I allow someone else into my life whether to make it better or worse case scenario, topsy-turvy. Topsy-turvy is something I can live without at this point in my life. Well, I highly doubt I will be seeing Wilfred any time soon. Nonetheless, if he genuinely wants me to give someone like him a second chance, and I will respond with this: I'm open to seeing if things can work, but I need to protect my peace and time. If you genuinely want this to work out, I need you to tell me three concrete reasons why I should give you a second chance. Going forward, what exact steps will you take to hold yourself accountable and ensure you don't stand me up when we make plans?

Here is a picture of Wilfred and the screenshots of our conversation the day after he stood me up on May 17, 2026! 🤔 I would give him a second chance but to what's extent without feeling like I have wasted my time and energy by giving him a second chance. I don't feel attracted to him and I'm already disappointed with his first impression of not showing up as he should. Well, it's his own loss for not showing up! 🤷🏽‍♀️ I would've added several screenshots of the conversation but didn't want people to get confused with what was being said [for those who are curious]. Part of me wants to give him a second chance just to see if he keeps his word and maybe I should string him along just to play games with him as he's doing with me!

Blessed be,

Jennifer

Unfiltered Motherhood: The Solo Journey

"A mother's love is everything. It is what brings a child into this world. It is what molds their entire being. When a mother sees her child in danger, she is literally capable of anything. Mothers have lifted cars off of their children and destroyed entire dynasties. A mother's love is the strongest energy known to man." ~ Jamie McGuire

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️ Happy Mother's Day to all moms out there. Since today is Mother's Day and since our experiences are different. I don't want people to have this impression and say that I'm "complaining" about something that is supposed to be beautiful and only if my experiences were different. I don't have any pregnancy pictures or a sonogram from my pregnancy. Believe me, I've attempted to ask for a sonogram but was told there wasn't any and I'm not certain if it is because I wanted to put my son up for adoption sixteen years ago. I don't know how much therapy can repair my pregnancy experience and I wish my pregnancy wasn't so traumatic. I was angry at myself mostly because I felt like I hadn't done enough to protect myself and I wish I had gotten my tubal ligation done years ago. I wouldn't be surprised if I had a gynecologist encouraging me to "wait" before I knew that sperm donor, Donald, even existed. I have always known that I've never wanted children for personal reasons, not everyone wants children for personal reasons, not everyone is fit to be parents (whether due to mental illness such as bipolar; schizophrenia; borderline personality disorder; just to name a few), and there are people should not bother to have children because of their shitty ass personality, specifically guys because most of you are so quick to run off into the sunset so you can live your best life while the mother of your child is sacrificing her body, her peace, her sleep, her social life, her love life, and her career for a pay cut while you're out there selfishly living your best life knowingly you've fucking destroyed her life and her body, for what? What the fuck are you getting out of this? That child will grow up feeling like they're inadequate, wondering what they have done wrong and feeling like there's something wrong with them when you're the problem that these children exist. Cut the excuses because life is too short for your sad excuses. I have my own reasons why I've never had that maternal desire to be a mom and one of those reasons is I don't need people doing the most traumatic things to my child leaving scars which would lead to sex/prostitution, drugs, and alcohol. When I got pregnant, I wanted to put my son up for adoption because I wasn't ready for motherhood and my son's father gave me an excuse that he wanted to distance himself because of my decision, but I decided to keep my son. 

"Mothers - especially single mothers - are heroic in their efforts to raise our nation's children, but men must also take responsibility for their children and recognize the impact they have on their families' well-being." ~ Evan Bayh

Being a single mom is no joke because there are many nights that are uneasy and there are moments that I'd love to do something nice for myself, such as going on date nights whether going on a date with someone or treating myself out to a movie and dinner. The idea of getting dressed up, saying "Fuck it!" and treat myself out to dinner and a movie or a Broadway show and a movie. Something nice. The sad reality, a lot of us or a handful of single moms don't have it easy because there is no support system to help and it's all work, work, work. When do we get to feel soft, loved, feminine, and the idea of feeling human! As single moms, we are humans too, we bleed the same, we deserve to feel happy, safe, loved, feminine and human. Yet, we're left feeling sad, frustrated, underappreciated and depleted. I don't want to say bitter because we are the ones hustling for that weekly income to ensure the rent is paid in full for the month; there's food in the refrigerator, the kids have clean clothes, and making sure the bills are paid in full for the moment. Meanwhile, the "fathers" are out there selfishly living their best lives, however, don't get angry when your own children you abandoned want nothing more to do with you because you were never there from birth until present day. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything to make you feel comfortable, nonetheless I will say it anyway. How do you sleep at night knowing you are supposed to go 50/50 on co-parenting? At the end of the day, you are a piece of shit as a "father figure." Make it make sense! If you're not looking to be celebrating Father's Day, please do yourselves a solid favor for everyone around you, either learn to take no as a final answer without question, your second option is to get yourself a vasectomy because that child you helped create did not ask to be born and they had not received that memo that they weren't supposed to even exist. Now that child is feeling a certain type of way about you! Your third option is to use protection as a form of contraception and condoms exist for two reasons. This is why pregnancy rate is the way it is and be mindful of STDs. Don't start complaining that you dislike wearing condoms because there are dishonest women out there who will cry wolf that you raped them while those who have genuinely experienced rape will unfortunately go unreported. I wouldn't be surprised if people start victim shaming the woman for getting raped. Once you become a dad, there is no return policy on newborns and there is no turning back either.

Blessed be,

Jennifer

Beyond the Camera: What I've Been Up To

"Sometimes the best thing to do is to take a step back and get a little bit of a different perspective and re-evaluate things." ~ Unknown

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️ It's been a while since I've written a blog about photography and things have been all over the place in recent months, specifically since November 2025, working two jobs but it's a conversation for another time and place. I had or still have my project on hold on wanting to self-publish a book on Blurb Books. I've originally began this as a class project for the spring semester of 2013, although I had already passed the class and it will mean the world to me if I complete this photography project. The first book will be in black and white, and the second book will be in color, but both will have the same concept of them being street photography. There may be a third book, but it'll mostly be a family themed book but let's see what happens with my first two projects and I'm feeling pretty hopeful but optimistic about finishing my first project. Once I finally am in a better position to have my Minolta X-370 repaired, it should be a green light, and I am very much looking forward to going on my photography walks as a form of self-care and therapy. As a single mom, I need time alone (though it's encouraged), and I can't be a mom 24/7/365 because there will be moments I need solitude to actively pursue my own hobbies and pour back into myself so I can be a better person to myself, a better friend, a better mom, a better cousin, and the list goes on. I need to do something that makes me happy for once since I'm temporarily stuck at a retail job that isn't doing me any type of justice but in some way, there's some form of gratification when it comes to assisting customers before I'm told to go back to what I was doing before being approached by customers with general questions. I guess you can say I'm more of a Janitor at my retail job and wait until the day I quit, I'll be celebrating but don't expect me to tell people at the bar that they're getting free drinks as Oprah Winfrey told her audience that they're getting a car. I have a full-time job that's better because I work forty hours per week and the hours are very much consistent in comparison to the eight hours a week at my retail job which is below part-time hours if you ask me!

"Following your genuine intellectual curiosity is better than following whatever makes money." ~ Naval Ravikant

I am hoping for this full-time job will be my ticket way out and not worry about how I'll make ends meet, however, I'm fully aware it may not be enough to fully pay or keep up with the monthly cost of living here in New York City. Anyway, I find photography to be very therapeutic and yes, granted not everyone finds photography to be therapeutic since we're all into different hobbies that we find therapy and joy in. I would love to get into photography but lack professional experience and I'm not fully sure if I'll need a college degree to show that I've completed my studies in photography. I don't want to say yes that you need a college degree just to work as a photographer. I don't know if it makes sense to think that way! Well, if I do decide to go back to LaGuardia Community College. For now, I still have a student loan from TCI and I'm looking to focus on that before I worry about anything else (such as any vacations or anything to do with socialization with my peers). I don't need people adding more to my plate when I'm already dealing with my own dilemma of having to pay down the maintenance that accumulated over the past year that haven't been kept up with after my mom had been in and out of North Shore University Hospital in Manhasset for falling.

"If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit." ~ Banksy

Aside from what's been going on, I've gone for a recent mammogram, and they've found an abnormality in my left breast. Overall, I feel fine and I know feeling "fine" may not mean anything. I don't want to miss work all because of an appointment at Queens Hospital, and I'm aware that my health is way more important than a paycheck. I currently work at Parks Department and it's a seasonal job for six months. I'm aware that I need to prioritize my health over any job, any relationship, or any friendship. I'm not saying they're all bad, but I feel they could and should take the back burner so to speak. It's something I'll leave as is without having to overly explain myself to people who barely have more than two brain cells.

Blessed be,

Jennifer

Life as of Late: March Edition

 "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." ~ Steve Jobs

Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namasté. 🧘🏽‍♀️ I'm not sure if this counts as for anything or if it makes sense, life has been a roller coaster ride as of late and I am making the best of this experience without putting my business out there completely, However, this involves my mother, Shiu and for the past year, she's been mismanaging her own health and I suppose the ancestors and the universe had other plans for her but by  all means, I suppose this is a blessing in disguise. I had plans of doing spiritual work on sending her out to Las Vegas, Nevada and have her spend whatever time she has with my sister, Gwen. With everything going on in my personal life, everything including all relationships/love life, as well as friendships and just know that I'm taking care of things before I focus/shift my attention, time and energy to enjoy the simplest things in life such as photography. I will mention this, I genuinely miss going on photography walks and yeah, I'll have people saying that I need to take care of my son, Stephan who is on the mild autism spectrum but is functional and verbal (thankfully). I'm sure there'll be people who will say that I need to prioritize my son and I feel sooner or later he will be doing for himself. Meaning, he'll have to go out and earn an income; I'm sure he'll want to go out with his peers or even go on dates, simple things as the things I've just mentioned without my presence being known. Essentially become independent in his own birth right and that's what I want for my son but not to sound negative or anything, I'm not always going to be around, but I'll be around spiritually to guide or teach when needed and protect. Let's not get this twisted, where did I say anything about something so negative regarding something natural and sacred. I feel that death should be feared by many since have zero control over what happens to us at the end of our lives!

"If you don't love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won't be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self." ~ Wayne Dyer

I'm hoping to say this once and I'm fully aware that there are guys out there who would want love to be with me, I'm only going to assume one thing that most heterosexual "men" want to get me in bed with them and yeah, sex is normal if you weren't sexually abused by your own stepfather or have any guy approaching you just for having a vagina or getting raped and getting pregnant by the father of your child! With everything that I've experienced in my life, I can live the rest of my life without sex but there'll be natural moments that I need to release that sexual tension as needed when that desire feels natural to me, and I'm not looking to pick a random person off the streets to have sex with. However, I don't have anyone in mind since I have my personal reasons. I'm in no rush for a relationship and I do want to take my time because I don't want to feel like I'm "trying too hard" to enter a relationship and end up unhappy and miserable. I'm taking my time because I want to, I'm doing this for me, and I want to take care of myself first before I consider going on dates, etc. without coming off as selfish. Life is too short to live life with the wrong people, but you live, and you learn, right? I'll let everyone know now, I know I'm not ready to settle down just yet but let's revisit this conversation in about ten years or so, and I want to have my own adventures to put my curiosity at ease or rather quiet down my curiosity of the world. It'll be a bunch of 35mm film to last for about three weeks or so. At this point, I want to view these trips as self-care retreats and think of it this way, it'll feel like a spiritual retreat for the mind, body and soul. Away from people, the hustle and bustle of life here in New York City, it'll be good for the mind and I'm sure life would be a bit more enjoyable for me to be around people. There are moments that I want to enjoy time alone and there are moments I don't mind being around people. There's that balance if you know how to evenly balance each one out and I feel there are people for some reason have an issue with solitude in their own life, it may not make sense to me at the very moment. Maybe it's reason unknown to me as to why people are afraid to be in solitude (especially for both psychological and spiritual reasons) and I may not fully understand their reasons just as much as I enjoy being single! I fully enjoy spending time in solitude and as well as being around people. I enjoy spending time alone because being around people for any long periods of time is and can be draining to me, no questions asked.

Blessed be,

Jennifer