"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." ~ Steve Jobs
Good morning; afternoon; and evening friends and fans! Namaste. I'm not sure if this counts as for anything or if it makes sense, life has been a roller coaster ride as of late and I am making the best of this experience without putting my business out there completely, However, this involves my mother, Shiu and for the past year, she's been mismanaging her own health and I suppose the ancestors and the universe had other plans for her but by all means, I suppose this is a blessing in disguise. I had plans of doing spiritual work on sending her out to Las Vegas, Nevada and have her spend whatever time she has with my sister, Gwen. With everything going on in my personal life, everything including all relationships/love life, as well as friendships and just know that I'm taking care of things before I focus/shift my attention, time and energy to enjoy the simplest things in life such as photography. I will mention this, I genuinely miss going on photography walks and yeah, I'll have people saying that I need to take care of my son, Stephan who is on the mild autism spectrum but is functional and verbal (thankfully). I'm sure there'll be people who will say that I need to prioritize my son and I feel sooner or later he will be doing for himself. Meaning, he'll have to go out and earn an income; I'm sure he'll want to go out with his peers or even go on dates, simple things as the things I've just mentioned without my presence being known. Essentially become independent in his own birth right and that's what I want for my son but not to sound negative or anything, I'm not always going to be around, but I'll be around spiritually to guide or teach when needed and protect. Let's not get this twisted, where did I say anything about something so negative regarding something natural and sacred. I feel that death should be feared by many since have zero control over what happens to us at the end of our lives!
"If you don't love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won't be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self." ~ Wayne Dyer
I'm hoping to say this once and I'm fully aware that there are guys out there who would want love to be with me, I'm only going to assume one thing that most heterosexual "men" want to get me in bed with them and yeah, sex is normal if you weren't sexually abused by your own stepfather or have any guy approaching you just for having a vagina or getting raped and getting pregnant by the father of your child! With everything that I've experienced in my life, I can live the rest of my life without sex but there'll be natural moments that I need to release that sexual tension as needed when that desire feels natural to me, and I'm not looking to pick a random person off the streets to have sex with. However, I don't have anyone in mind since I have my personal reasons. I'm in no rush for a relationship and I do want to take my time because I don't want to feel like I'm "trying too hard" to enter a relationship and end up unhappy and miserable. I'm taking my time because I want to, I'm doing this for me, and I want to take care of myself first before I consider going on dates, etc. without coming off as selfish. Life is too short to live life with the wrong people, but you live, and you learn, right? I'll let everyone know now, I know I'm not ready to settle down just yet but let's revisit this conversation in about ten years or so, and I want to have my own adventures to put my curiosity at ease or rather quiet down my curiosity of the world. It'll be a bunch of 35mm film to last for about three weeks or so. At this point, I want to view these trips as self-care retreats and think of it this way, it'll feel like a spiritual retreat for the mind, body and soul. Away from people, the hustle and bustle of life here in New York City, it'll be good for the mind and I'm sure life would be a bit more enjoyable for me to be around people. There are moments that I want to enjoy time alone and there are moments I don't mind being around people. There's that balance if you know how to evenly balance each one out and I feel there are people for some reason have an issue with solitude in their own life, it may not make sense to me at the very moment. Maybe it's reason unknown to me.
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