"There was the life you lived, which consisted of the choices you made. And then, there was the other life, the one that was the things you hadn't chosen." ~ Gabriell Zevin
They say home is where the heart is, but for me, home has always been a mosaic. I was born to a Panamanian father who served in the Air Force and a Chinese mother in Arizona. When my parents separated, my mother brought me back to Queens as a baby, where my sister and I grew up in different households. That physical distance made my relationship with her feel estranged and awkward, a lingering ache from childhood.
Growing up with grandparents who immigrated from China after WWII, I was surrounded by Cantonese, though it sadly never stuck with me. Today, I find myself on the cusp of Scorpio and Sagittarius, embodying a blend of deep introspection and a restless, artistic spirit.
Life hasn't been easy. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and adult assault. Those tragedies left deep scars, but they also shaped my perspective. I became a mother at 26 to a wonderful son on the spectrum. I've always been honest about the fact that I never had that traditional "maternal desire." Motherhood came to me under difficult circumstances, and I believe it's important to speak openly about the fact that the maternal instinct isn't innate for everyone.
As an asexual and bisexual individual, I don't use specific pronouns. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, those concepts didn't exist in the mainstream, and navigating my identity has been a journey of carving out my own path. I don't believe much in marriage, and I am a firm believer in the paranormal - there is so much more to this world than what meets the eye.
I'm an introvert at heart. If you are trying to date me, know this: I require a lot of time and patience to warm up. I may seem completely uninterested at first, but it is just my way of protecting my energy while I figure out who is safe.
Today, my time is focused on healing and self-improvement. I'm prioritizing my health, spirituality, and fitness. I've been journaling since junior high, and I love getting lost in a good novel or listening to music. But my truest therapy is writing and photography.
There is something magical about the analog process. I shoot exclusively with my Minolta X-370, loading it with Ilford, Kodak Portra, or CineStill film. When I need supplies, B&H Photo Video is my go-to. And on the days when B&H and Adorama are closed for Jewish holidays, I happily head over to K&M Camera downtown.
Though I'm not a die-hard sports fan, I'll always represent the Yankees and the Diamondbacks.
Ultimately, photography and writing allow me to channel my artistic way of looking at life. I plan to eventually return to LaGuardia Community College to continue bettering myself. Life is a work in progress, and I am finally capturing it on my own terms.
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